Twists and Turns
Let's see...where has life taken me lately? I have hardly left the house since Valentine's Day, but I feel like I've been on quite a trip! So much has happened in the last couple days I hardly know where to start.
I received a call that caught me by surprise...a close relative of J's. Through twists and circumstances, she had just found out about Tyler's existence (and ours) and shared that knowledge with J's mother (who was also in the dark). My apprehension turned to happiness when she related that knowing about Tyler and finding him/us here on the web has been a comfort to the family. She was very welcoming and I was overjoyed when she expressed her desire to keep in touch with me.
Tyler will now have access to J's extended family someday, if he wishes, and that makes me feel better. I also got to see photos of J as a baby and young boy. What a precious gift that was. My heart goes out to his family for this horrible loss.
You all know my life here in my journal is pretty much an open book, but I do intend to continue to keep J and B's family info private. I'm glad B decided to open up to J's family during this tragedy. She needs all the love and support she can get right now.
As I've told a couple people in the last few days...the longer you keep a big secret, the harder it is to share with the people you love.
Now I just need to find the words to express to J's mother. I have her contact info and a strong desire to...say something. Do something. I'm at a loss. To lose a child at such a young age - I've witnessed it before with close friends. On top of that, to find out you have another biological grandchild out in the world...I'm just glad to hear that this news wasn't distressing for her.
As for Tyler - I'm still very sad for him. When I decided to search for my bio-parents, it was one of my biggest fears that my search would end with me finding out one or both weren't alive...that I had missed my opportunity to connect with them. I have a few years to think about what we will say to Ty, but really, there is nothing we can say that will make up for what he has lost.
At least J's family will get to see Tyler grow up and hear about his life. He's an amazing kid and we thank the fates every day for giving us the gift of being his parents.
I received a call that caught me by surprise...a close relative of J's. Through twists and circumstances, she had just found out about Tyler's existence (and ours) and shared that knowledge with J's mother (who was also in the dark). My apprehension turned to happiness when she related that knowing about Tyler and finding him/us here on the web has been a comfort to the family. She was very welcoming and I was overjoyed when she expressed her desire to keep in touch with me.
Tyler will now have access to J's extended family someday, if he wishes, and that makes me feel better. I also got to see photos of J as a baby and young boy. What a precious gift that was. My heart goes out to his family for this horrible loss.
You all know my life here in my journal is pretty much an open book, but I do intend to continue to keep J and B's family info private. I'm glad B decided to open up to J's family during this tragedy. She needs all the love and support she can get right now.
As I've told a couple people in the last few days...the longer you keep a big secret, the harder it is to share with the people you love.
Now I just need to find the words to express to J's mother. I have her contact info and a strong desire to...say something. Do something. I'm at a loss. To lose a child at such a young age - I've witnessed it before with close friends. On top of that, to find out you have another biological grandchild out in the world...I'm just glad to hear that this news wasn't distressing for her.
As for Tyler - I'm still very sad for him. When I decided to search for my bio-parents, it was one of my biggest fears that my search would end with me finding out one or both weren't alive...that I had missed my opportunity to connect with them. I have a few years to think about what we will say to Ty, but really, there is nothing we can say that will make up for what he has lost.
At least J's family will get to see Tyler grow up and hear about his life. He's an amazing kid and we thank the fates every day for giving us the gift of being his parents.
Comments
I enjoy reading your perspectives on adoption, Becky.
This is such a sad time isn't it, though I am glad that something positive has come out of it all. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling Becky. We so want to protect our children from hurt don't we.
Sara xxx