Wednesday, June 26, 2013

My bad...

I woke this morning drenched in sweat and absolutely convinced that my time traveling had changed future events for the worse. It was all my fault and I was in a panic over how to fix the time line. Yeah. I need to cut back on the amount of sci-fi I ingest, I think. Or I really need to get back to some serious writing. I have an idea for a new book series that I really want to dive into. I just need to commit to it. Writing takes a lot of dedication and so far I haven't had the motivation to stay with a writing project all the way to completion. I have a whole lot of outlines, stray chapters, miscellaneous ideas and short stories. A whole book...that is a scary thought.

And then the cat jumped into my arms (which he almost never does) looking for a cuddle. See?! The universe is trying to keep me from writing. Ha ha ha!

Now where was I... There was something else I wanted to write down, but now my thought train has been derailed. It wasn't the dream from yesterday where an old friend somehow got a job as Johnny Carson's chauffeur and body guard just for a weekend for Johnny's visit to NYC. (Wow, what a crazy dream that was. I spent this dream weekend trying to keep Johnny Carson from being killed. Plus I got to visit the set of Saturday Night Live and found a whole room full of swag - gifts the cast had gotten over the years from various places and had never bothered to open. Yeah, I don't have any clue what that was all about.)

In other news, the school year officially ended today. Max will be moving on to first grade in September and Tyler into sixth. I remember sixth grade. Vividly. Those memories make me very afraid for Tyler in the coming year. Hormonal changes. Starting to notice boys (but they were mostly oblivious.) Girls who suddenly turned EVIL and made it their mission to ruin my happiness. Boys picking sides, friends, and icing out those who were "different".  Tyler is a little different.  His school year ended on a sour note when he went to the aid of a friend who was being picked on (and called a f*ing Jew) by a classmate. All the boys involved got in trouble and missed their end of year class party. Tyler says he didn't mind. The principal's office was air conditioned and his classroom was hot as hell. Plus they were eating pizza. He hates regular pizza. See? Different. The other boy was crying over missing the party. That gave me a odd bit of satisfaction, since he was the one who started the whole mess.

I find myself going over past events a lot lately. Re-remembering childhood trauma with new eyes. The eyes of a parent of a child now the same age I was back in, according to Max, Medieval Times. I know now that I was VERY difficult at 11, 12, 13 and so on. I was moody, depressed, reclusive, anti-social, angry and damaged.  And I just wanted my parents to make things better. They didn't. They didn't seem to even try.

And now here *I* am, in the same spot. We are trying! Very very hard. But I don't think Tyler sees it. School sucks for him. Kids are mean. We go to a lot of meetings, trying different things, get him therapy, therapists, medication...and he just finds it all tedious, useless, annoying and sometimes just stupid.  I watch helplessly as he sinks into that same dark place I was at his age. Parenting is hard. But I think being a middle-school aged kid is even harder. If you are a praying sort, we could use some divine intervention for the coming school year.

Friday, June 21, 2013


I've been married for 21 years as of today. I find myself thinking, "Wow. I've been married longer than I lived at home with my parents." Heck, I've been with my husband for nearly 30 years, if I do the math. That is a long long time, if I stop and think about it. He met me when I was a teenager. A TEEN. Me. When was that, again? I can't remember back that far.

Some people find it hard to imagine spending so many years with the same person. Me? I find it hard to imagine spending time with anyone else. I think of the guys I dated and try to imagine what life would have been like if I'd married one of them. When I stop laughing and can catch my breath...yeah. I should write a sitcom! Or a John Hughes-esque movie treatment. Yeah. I'll get Kristen Stewart to play teen me. She has my snarky, dead-eyed, deadpan delivery down already.

But back to thinking romantical thoughts about my loving husband. How did I get so lucky? If you are a believer in karma, then I hit the karmic mother-load with John. He is sweet, loving, generous, kinda patient, usually understanding, and a fantastic Dad. The total package. Yes, I am very blessed. Sorry if I am making you feel a little jealous. I know a lot of my friends didn't make out so well in the husband department. *hugs* to you guys, but you can't have mine.

I see you eyeing my man! Back off, honey. I like you, but I will cut you. ;)

Seriously. He's mine.



Happy Anniversary baby. I hope you are as happy today as I am. Now if we could just convince the boys to go out to eat somewhere WE like, rather than somewhere THEY will take a miracle.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Cameras - the Extinction?

I read a finance article the other day - it was forecasting the next big 10 companies they expect will go under in the coming year. It also talked about the top 10 products that were no longer going to be produced. I wasn't at all surprised by the companies named. It made sense that those 10 were on the brink of going out of business; but the products?

One of them was a popular "point and shoot" camera. Apparently, a few popular camera makers are getting out of the general consumer level camera manufacturing biz. No one is buying the inexpensive pocket sized models anymore. Why? Because everyone just uses their cell phone. Why have an extra device that just takes picture when you already have a cell phone that does it...or so the thinking goes.

Really?? People think cell phones are an acceptable substitute for a real camera. Have they SEEN the photos they take with their cell? The memories you want to preserve forever of your major life events are these slightly blurry, low quality, and often dark images from your average cell phone. I could scream.

I see these images every day. Photos of kids, relatives, scenery...and yes, sometimes some of these cell shots are actually pretty good. But ONLY shots taken by my friends who are professional photographers or the shot is a total accident. Sorry, everyone else. Your cell pics are not great. I am not trying to piss you off, it's just a fact! And this is now the ONLY photo you have of this major life event. It's blurry, fuzzy, dark and the subject is too far away for me to be sure of what you are trying to capture. And the moment is gone. Forever.

I found it funny a week or so ago when my husband pointed out to me as I happily clicked away at my youngest son's school play that I was one of only 2 people in the entire auditorium with a real camera. Everyone else was watching the play with a cell phone held in front of their faces. Some were snapping still shots and some were making videos. Then again, at kindergarten graduation, I had an actual video camera and everyone else was holding up a cell phone. Even my husband. I found myself wishing I'd brought my camera. Sure, it's bulky, but the images I capture are worth the effort. That moment is gone now. I don't have any photos of my son with his teacher, but John took a pic with his cell phone. It's a little fuzzy, blurry, dark and generally cell phone-ish looking. But at least it's something. I guess.

My son probably won't mind when he sees that pic sometime in the distant future. It will be like the slightly dark, blurry, faded and almost monochromatic looking Polaroids of my past. You expect them to look that way. Everyone's pictures look that way. Except for the "professionals" who used an actual real live honest to goodness camera. Wow! Those photos look amazing! Thank goodness someone thought to bring a real camera to that major life event. Can you imagine if all I had were Polaroids? That would suck.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


Max has been going through an extended "Super Hero" phase, much to my delight. (The phase was all too short with Tyler, but at least I have cute Halloween costume photos to remind me of those days.) Every day Max brings home drawings from school of various heroes. He draws Spider-man with a certain finesse and I find myself a bit jealous. I can only imagine his talent as his skills mature. He is only 6, after all.

The boys went out shoe shopping today (Max covets a certain pair of Avengers sneakers) but they struck out finding the right size. I told John if things went badly, he should take his planned trip to Barnes & Noble and Max would forget all his woes. It worked like a charm. Max came home shoe-less but with a sack full of Super Hero magic.

He found a book about the DC universe's Super Friends. It wasn't JUST a book. Oh no. It was also a play set with a huge multi-scene play mat and tiny little action figures - villains and heroes alike. He was thrilled to death! I found myself squee'ing a little too. So cool! But then Max pulled out the pièce de résistance. B&N gave him a FREE COMIC BOOK. I screamed like a pre-teen seeing Justin Beiber for the first time. Ha! I didn't know I could still get that excited. Collector's comic based on the new Superman flick...score! I haven't bought a new comic in probably 15 years or more so it was nice to know that I still get jazzed over a new book.

Check it out:

special edition comic *drools*

They are all about an inch high, but hot damn - what a collection!