Good Luck Nana!

We spent the week up in MA and just got home last night. My super active and seemingly indestructible Dad (aka Grumpy Grampy) was struck down with debilitating pain in his leg a short time ago. Fearing a blood clot or who knew what else, we were a bit shocked to find out that his hip had failed. Before we knew it, he was scheduled for a total hip replacement. My Mom (aka Nana) was in a panic because the best ortho hospital was an hour away and in the busy outskirts of Boston. Me to the rescue! (Really Mom...you need to learn how to drive more than 20 miles away from your own home!) Initially it was just going to be me and the boys going up to stay and shuttle Nana back and forth to the hospital, but John decided to move his vacation week and we turned it into a total family affair.

It worked out well because after one visit with all of us, I could tell the boys were a bit freaked out seeing their Grampy that way and they had a hard time keeping busy. So John spent most of the week taking the boys to the town pool and out to lunch while I played chauffeur and drove my mother back and forth to the hospital.

He looks pretty good here, right? This is the day after his surgery.

After 6 days and a lot of PT, he comes home today. Good luck to my Mom...that grumpy Grampy is a most challenging patient.

School's Out for Summer!

Summer Vacation - Day 1

When does school start again? Ah. September 2nd. Only 75 more days to go. *sigh* But seriously, it's nice to have Tyler at home. He and Max have been having a ball today. It's balloon sword battle royale as they chase each other around the family room.

Speaking of balloon swords...I have a new talent. Tyler was at a birthday party a few weeks ago and came home so impressed by the clown who made balloon animals that he insisted his Dad take him to the store to buy some of those long balloons for him to try out. Of course, this meant that Mommy had to learn a few new tricks once the initial joy of discovery was replaced with the agony of frustration. "Moooooom! I can't do this! Can you make me a sword?"

OK! Thank goodness for the internet. (What did Moms do before the internet???) After a few video lessons, I produced 3 different styles of balloon swords and all was right with the world...for about 10 minutes. Then all hell broke loose. "Mom! The clown at the party made a dog. Can you make a dog?" Another 10 minute instructional video later and I was making hounds and poodles. "Cool! Can you make a rabbit? How about a turtle? A pig?? Ohh! I really want a bird!!" Oh lordy help me...

Balloon cutlass, anyone? How about a balloon saber? Balloon belts to hold your inflated weaponry? I can now make 2 love birds kissing inside a heart too. I think I'll tackle balloon hats next.

Now the house is overrun with a menagerie of balloon creatures who have a habit of popping at inopportune moments. But it is rather fun. Good thing I have great lung capacity.

One of many balloon turtles and swords

I'm so confused...

"Mom? Can you buy me an instrument? I want to learn how to play something."

Tyler...didn't you just tell me not too long ago that you hate music?

"Well, I figure if I play an instrument, maybe I'll learn to like music? I just don't want to be weird, Mom. Everyone likes music 'cept for me!"

Interesting idea. What instrument did you want to learn to play? You know you won't be able to play right away. It takes time, lessons and lots of practice to learn to play something.

"Well you can teach me, right Mom? You know a lot of instruments. I want to play the trumpet. Or maybe the flute. Or the flutophone. Oh! And you have a guitar too, right?"

The flutoWHAT? Trumpet?!? ...oh wait. I actually think we have a trumpet around here somewhere. Maybe in the attic.

"The flutophone! They play them in our school band!"

Oh! Those funny looking recorder thingies from the spring concert?

"Yeah! I want one of those."

M'okay. Call me crazy, but I ordered him one on Amazon. And my darling John dug around in the attic until he found not only the old trumpet our friend Kerry had left with us years ago, but also my old Yamaha SHS-10 keytar (a keyboard you wear and shred on like a guitar). Max instantly took possession of the keytar and Tyler took the trumpet as soon as I had it put back together.

I gave Ty a short demo on how to blow into a trumpet and he gave it a go. My jaw dropped when he sounded a crystal clear (and very loud) note. It's freakin HARD to do that and I've never heard anyone make a sound with a trumpet on their first try, never mind so clearly. He was totally in love.

Now I have a splitting headache as the boys have been playing happily (and loudly) on their instruments for the last hour. We may have to just start a family band.

Hark! Easter Approach-eth!

One sign of spring and the arrival of the Easter Bunny is the annual town Easter Egg Hunt. Only this year it was 40 degrees with 50 MPH winds. Brrrr! The kids looked miserable waiting in line for their goody bags from the bunny, but once the hunt began, I think it could have been snowing and they wouldn't have cared. The next day you never would have known it was so cold. It was in the 60s and gorgeous! So I took the boys to the park.

I love watching them play! Complete sets of photos at my Shutterfly page.

Conversations: Tyler on Music

"MOM! Please turn off the radio! I hate music. It hurts my ears."

As the boys continued to act up noisily in the back seat I turned the radio up LOUDER.

"Come on Mom! This stuff is horrible!"

I cringed. He was insulting Tears For Fears. Classic 80s. So I began to sing along. As the commercial break came on, I said, "Ty, maybe if you listened to the words or thought about the instruments that make the music, you might understand better why music is cool and another way to express your feelings."

Tyler made a disgusted noise. "They sing too fast. Who can understand what they are singing anyway..."

So I began to sing the lyrics to the next song to Tyler, clearly so he could understand what I was singing. "Once I ran to you. Now I'll run from you..." Oh yeah. Tainted Love! Max laughed.

"Ahhh! Mom! Stop! This is horrible!"

"OK Ty. I guess I'll never be on American Idol, huh." It's not the first time he's complained about my singing.

"Nope. It's too expensive, right?"

"What?? No no. They pay all the expenses for the people on the show. It's free for them to be on it." That too expensive comment left me a little bewildered.

"Oh! So you COULD be on it if you wanted to? It's not too expensive?"

"Well, no. I'd have to try out. You know, pass an audition in front of judges...maybe in New York City..." I decided to ignore the fact that I am way too old, just for the sake of this discussion.

"Oh. Well that's easy then. You could do that. I love New York."

"Ty, are you telling me you think I could be on American Idol?? You're joking, right?"

"No Mom. I'm serious. I think you'd be great on that show. But I still hate singing."

Hmm. Tyler thinks I could be on American Idol but he wouldn't watch the show, because he hates singing. Over all, this conversation left me feeling good. Confused, but good.

After a long pause, I suddenly burst out; "And the next American Idol is...Mommy!" [insert enthusiastic crowd noise sound effect]

Max said, "Yay Mommy!!!"

Heh.

Lexicon

I find myself using parenting phrases based on false or dubious scientific evidence quite frequently. You know those phrases...

• Don't swallow the seeds, it might sprout in your belly!
• Stop making that face, it could freeze that way!
• Don't sit so close to the TV, you'll go blind (or cross-eyed)!
• Don't stand in front of the microwave, you'll cook your brain!

Yes, I've joined the parenting conspiracy of misinformation used to make our children conform to a certain standard of behavior or to keep them safe. But I find myself using a new phrase, of late. Sadly, this one can't be laughed off as the paranoid myths passed on from our own youth.

• Don't put that in your mouth, it might be Made in China!

I know. It's sad, isn't it? But with Max testing positive for lead a few months ago, I am unwilling to take any chances. I do realize not EVERY toy is made in China; but really, MOST of them are these days! And yes, not everything made in China contains lead. But I have no way of knowing what is safe and what isn't short of throwing out every toy here and starting from scratch. It's easier to just keep reminding the boys not to put them into their mouths. (And it's working because Max's blood test yesterday showed no trace of lead.)

Am I the only parent to add this new phrase to her lexicon? I wonder if it will be as enduring as "You'll shoot your eye out!" I hope not.

ER

Max + Tyler + Bathroom Door = ER Visit

Don't you just hate Mom Math?

The good news is Max's finger wasn't broken and they were able to use that cool dermal glue to reattach the tip. Bad news, he will probably lose his fingernail and keeping a bandage on a curious 2 year old is a total exercise in futility.

Mom + Injured Baby + ER Visit = 10 years off my life and more gray hair.

Anyone got any valium they can send me? Thanks.

Hey Max! Who is our President?

As promised...the video!

Conversations

I get into the funniest conversations with my boys. The other day, Tyler was watching one of his favorite kid channels and an infomercial type segment featuring our new President came on. Max looked up at the TV and yelled "Barack Obama!" very excitedly. My jaw dropped! Max is 2. Where the heck...how the heck...who the heck taught him... I was flummoxed! I started laughing hysterically. He can say the name so clearly!

Then Tyler looked at me with a serious look of concentration on his face. "Mommy? Why is Obama black? They keep saying he is our first black President." Ummmm. Oh boy. So I launched into a discussion about race and uses of specific color words to represent someone with a specific skin color and how some people place a lot of importance on those colors (but not us). Then I talked a little about how those terms have changed over the years. And the origins and ancestry of certain races and why there are different skin colors. I was just trying to think of a way to explain slavery and America's more sordid past when I saw Tyler looking rather glazed.

He said, "Mommy...I just want to know why they call him black when he's not. He's more brown. Or tan. I don't know. What color do you call it? I'm...tanish. Right?" I said, "Beige? and President Obama is more light brown?" Tyler's face lit up and he said, "Yes! He is light brown!" Then he returned his attention to the TV, completely satisfied.

*sigh* I really need to stop over-explaining things and just K.I.S.S. (keep it simple, stupid.)

"Barack Obama!"

Yes, Max. That's him. I've got to get him on video saying that. It's just too cute!

American Idol

I posted some thoughts on my favorite American Idol blog today and thought I would share them here too. Anyone watching Idol this season?

Going back to Hollywood week - I'm still sad the Osmond kid didn't make it. Almost stopped watching when I saw that.

As for that Adam Lambert kid...current? Relevant? I'm sorry, but am I the ONLY ONE to see he is a perfect clone of an 80s hairband diva (minus the hair)? He is Brett Michaels from Poison, Tom Keifer of Cinderella, and most especially, Sabastian Bach from Skid Row all rolled into one! I am NOT objecting, mind you. I was a HUGE fan of heavy metal back in the day. But how can the judges not see it? Especially Paula who was an 80s pop icon and RANDY who played with Journey (a hair band forerunner).

Meanwhile, I love Danny Gokey. LOVE him. He's my pick to win. Thoughts?

Cyber Stalker...

Wow! Two blog posts in one day. When was the last time THAT happened? A lot on my mind lately, but no clear path to put it in writing.

I suddenly realized today that I hadn't heard from my bio-mom in a long while. After the excitement of meeting her for the first time, in person; I'm not really sure what I was expecting beyond that point. So I sent her an email today just to let her know I was thinking about her.

Then I Googled her. Yes, again.

Boy has she been busy! She has both a FaceBook page AND is on Twitter now among dozens of other new links. I was seconds from clicking the add friend link on FaceBook when I hesitated. Would that be weird? I know people have popped out of the woodwork and asked ME to be a FaceBook friend (and I was pleased as punch to say yes) but would that kind of overture be welcome in this case. I wonder. Then I found her on Twitter. She has 609 followers, so I would be relatively faceless in the crowd, but I hesitated again.

Yep. I am feeling very cyber stalkerish.

*sigh*

edited to add: I am not looking to replace my "real" mother. I just think it would be really cool to be friends with my bio-mom. Nuff said.

Shhh! Max won't share his Cheetos with me!

Silently my fingers creep across the table, slowly seeking the open bag of Cheetos. Freeze! The boy reaches over and digs in the bag, face already coated in orange powdery goodness. Attention returns to the TV, and my hand resumes its stealthy path. Success! I grasp a couple plump Cheetos and retreat rapidly, popping one into my mouth. The boy whips around and looks at me. I stop mid-crunch and look innocent, a second Cheeto hidden rapidly under the table.

I smile and lift one eyebrow.

The boy eyes me suspiciously for a moment and then returns his attention to the TV.

Ha! Cheetos thief crunches with relish on her stolen booty. The boy never the wiser.

Trippy!

I just got caught up on several posts on Alphawoman's blog and made an interesting discovery. If you stare at a website that has white text against a black background long enough...then look up suddenly at your white walls...everything has stripes! Whoa. That was so weird! I just got a flash on what my family room would look like done in a zebra motiff. Coooooool!

Now back to reading. And more reading. Geesh I am far behind.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I received a special package today from my 3 boys for Valentine's. Mmmm mmmm!!! Here is the first ever photo I've taken with my new cell phone:

OK! Hope you all have a nice Feb 14th. I've got some serious eating to do...

Creative!

What a cool idea! I think I am more impressed with the patience of the female subject of all that still photography more so than I am with the stop-motion finished product! LOL

Calgon, take me...oh that's just wrong!

The latest stomach virus has had it's way with almost every member of the family except John. Somehow he has remained untouched in this vomit and poopie fest.

First Max was struck down with no warning. I'd just put all his and my winter gear on for a trip out to breakfast when he sat down on the top step and said, "Mommy, tummy hurts..." I picked him up to comfort him. BIG MISTAKE. He threw up all over both of us. I've never seen so much puke come out of such a little kid. I don't deal well with barf, so it was a challenge to get coats, gloves, shoes and clothes off and into the washer before I lost my own cookies. Yay Mommy. I had to get everything clean and dry so we'd have something to wear to go pick Tyler up at school at the end of the day. John picks the worst times to have to go work out of state.

After a couple days of Max being in misery, it was my turn. Sadly the worst of the virus struck the morning we were supposed to leave for upstate to attend my Uncle's funeral. To top the day off, Tyler woke up puking too. It was his turn to be struck down. Thank goodness this was a long weekend.

Meanwhile, Max had been virus free for several days, but he was still periodically pointing to his belly and saying, "Hurts, Mommy! Hurts!" Since my own belly was killing me, I sympathized. I was a little worried that something else was going on, but was too sick to think it through in depth.

Today Max complained to his Daddy that his "butt hurts." He told me his tummy hurt again. Considering how many days of poop-fest the poor kid had suffered through, it wasn't all that surprising. He hadn't had the runs for a couple days, but who knew. Maybe his poor bottom was still irritated. So John made him a nice warm bath.

Turns out that was just what the poor kid needed...to get his constipation moving. Fast. Oh yeah. So that's why his belly and butt were hurting. Right now I am actually happy that I'm still feeling under the weather because that meant that John cleaned out the tub.

*shudder*

Also, there goes our "no accidents in the bathtub" record. Soooo close. *sigh* And I've lost a whole week to illness. *double sigh* How was your week?

It's a new year...

Talk amongst yourselves for a moment while I try to figure out where the old year went...





Nope, it's not under the sofa cushions. Eww! I think that used to be a peach slice! Hmm. Tyler's been looking for his DS. What a surprise, it's in the black hole...er...sofa. No sign of 2008 tho.

*Looks about speculatively*

Maybe in one of the 35 toy boxes scattered around here... Huh. Why on EARTH are the boys saving THAT in there.

OK. Now I've lost interest. On to 2009 I guess.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!

After initial worries that Santa was going to seem "cheap" this year, we actually had a very nice Christmas. Once all the gifts were under the tree, all was well. I was grateful to extended family who sent gifts to the boys. Plus Daddy did an excellent job of last minute shoppery so that Santa could stuff the stockings to the bursting point.

Because of my MIL's boycott on Christmas cookie baking last year (oh it was TRAGIC!), I got ambitious and made cookies myself this year. The plan was for the boys and Nana (my mom) to help me decorate the cookies with icing and sprinkles. Sadly, we were too busy and the cookies were forgotten until after my parents left today.

Tyler was a little frustrated that he couldn't control the icing bag to his perfectionist satisfaction and gave up after three cookies (they looked terrific, by the way). Max was handed cookies that were pre-iced (yeah, I'm not crazy) and he proceeded to take each of his variety of sprinkle cups and dump them ALL onto his first batch of cookies. That was pretty funny. Then he was done. That left me to finish the remainder of the 3 dozen sugar cookies myself. It was tedious work, but fun! When I brought the tray full of cookie art back into the kitchen, I made a comment to John about bringing some of them plus the 2 dozen oatmeal/peanut butter/chocolate chip cookies I'd made on Christmas eve over to my MIL's for Christmas Part Deux.

He paused with a funny look on his face and said, "OK...but you know my mom made cookies this year, right?"

*sigh*

So much for me being the cookie savior this year. LOL! Back later with photos. It's time now for a Mario Kart showdown between Tyler and I. He's going to eat my Wii dust!

Regift Rules

When John and I got married, an old high school buddy of his gifted us with an electric can opener. When I opened the box, I found an appliance in a color that was popular about two decades earlier and there was a wedding gift card inside with a note for "Sam and Elena" to enjoy it in good health.* We giggled over that regift for a long time and were thrilled that the retro opener actually looked great in our seriously outdated rental kitchen.

*names changed to protect the guilty

AOL had a feature on regifting horror stories on their homepage today and it inspired me to start a list of regifting rules, just in time for this gift-giving season:

1. Check the box carefully to be sure there are no gift cards thoughtfully enclosed.
2. Be sure there are no incriminating shipping labels affixed to the outside of the box.
3. Check the item to make sure it's not a collectible with a date on the bottom (unless the recipient collects that sort of thing). Nothing like getting a nice Christmas ornament as a gift then finding out is says "1993" on the back.
4. In addition to dates, check for personalization. Don't regift that nice coffeetable book that didn't fit on your coffeetable without checking inside the covers for a note.
5. Confer with household members to be certain you don't re-gift an item to the person who gave it to you/them in the first place.
6. If the item has been in the attic for a number of years, ask for a second opinion on if the item is "retro" and "back in style" or just OLD and DATED.
7. When you check inside the box for that thoughtfully enclosed gift card, also check to be sure all the parts of the gift are still in the box and that the item doesn't look "used" in some way.

Can you think of anything to add to this list?

Rigging up the lights...

Happy Holidays everyone! Is everyone in the holiday spirit yet? Hello? *tap tap* Is this thing on?

I know, I know. I hear ya. Poor John spent most of the afternoon going through 500 white twinkle lights on our pre-strung tree trying to find out why most of the strands are no longer lighting up. I spent a good chunk of that time trying to keep Max out of his way. Not easy when you have a 2 year old who has no memory of a tree in his living room. It's fascinating stuff!

The rest of the late afternoon and into this evening, I've been gathering addresses from the remote corners of the house and my computer to update the file that contains my Christmas card address labels. I have mixed emotions going through each name. Some make me smile as I think about the card I've already received from them, if they are happy in their new home, or just general happiness that I'll soon reconnect in some small way with that person or family. Some make me sad as I alter the labels to reflect the losses that happened over the past year (two family members lost husbands).

Once the address labels are in place, it's time to stuff the cards. As I look at the smiling faces of my two boys, I recall the pains I took (and they endured) to get the perfect holiday card photo. My poor kids! I bought special matching outfits (a now annual tradition), dressed them up during our recent mini-vacation to celebrate their birthdays, posed them in various arrangements in front of the pretty fireplace at the lodge, and struggled to get them both to look at me AND smile at the same time. No easy feat! They fought me every step of the way...but it doesn't show in the end result.

Will this discourage me from making a similar effort for next year's holiday card? Nope. I put up with the same pains when I was a kid - the itchy wool, mall Santas with the smell of booze on their breath, my brother kicking me in the shins, mom licking a tissue to wipe a smudge off my face or licking her hand and smoothing down my fine flyaway hair, being posed again and again, forced to act affectionate to my pesky little brother when all I REALLY wanted to do was kick him back (love ya Mike!) Ah memories.

If you are lucky enough to receive a card from me this year, please take an extra moment or two to admire the artistry and effort that went into making it. Ha Ha! No seriously. And I apologize for not doing a newsletter this year (the first year in a 10+ year streak of newsletter writing.) I went back through my blog and photos from the past 12 months and realized that nothing really interesting happened to us this year. That's not a bad thing! I'll take a news free year over one full of health woes, job loss/stress, major life changes or lots of travel for a nice change of pace. Boring is good!

OK. Enough stalling. Back to stuffing envelopes full of holiday love and cheer sealed with a generous helping of Tyler's spit.

Happy Birthday!

Tyler turns 7 today (at 11:03pm PST). Tyler requested Red Lobster for dinner (he ate 5 cheddar bay biscuits by himself), we sang to him while he blew out a candle on his cupcake, then I watched him open gifts from his grandma, birth-grandma, and his parents. He was over-joyed with everything and spent an hour on the playroom PC setting up one of his gifts (thanks Karen!) Then he and Max studied the box that contained the gift from John and I and they discussed which Pokemon they would cook up tomorrow after school. I love watching the boys commiserate. It's charming to observe and makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I wish they got along that well all the time!

I am soooo far behind in my photo sharing. Hundreds of photos sit on my camera waiting to be offloaded to my PC. My monitor died and I had to wait for the new one to arrive. Then we went out of town for several days, I got sick... yadda yadda. I need a vacation. But Christmas is at our house this year, Tyler's big birthday party is this Sunday, the house is a wreck and I'm still sick. So yes. I am stressing a bit. I wish I had a disintegrator device of some kind so I could just make half the clutter in this house simply vanish without a trace.