WeAss #214 - ChaChaChaChanges

Karen speaks of the power of change in this week's Weekend Assignment. She says, "Tell us of one change you voluntarily made in your life at some point, that worked out really well."

Several things pop instantly to mind and are pretty obvious like adopting our boys or building this house, but the more I think about it I realize the single most significant change I made in my life that improved things and altered my outlook in an earth shattering way was my decision to quit my job/old life and move to New Jersey.

See, I was in a soul sucking, dead-end of a job working for a really nice guy but working WITH a bunch of evil shrew women from hell and a few sexist, ex-military, sexually harassing men that gave me nightmares. While working with Satan's minions, I also lost my best friend to suicide and the love of my life decided he couldn't stand living in Massachusetts for one minute longer and he up and moved back home with his mommy. [insert wink] And who could blame him. I didn't like the state either and had moved to New Hampshire myself and was enduring one hell of a long commute each day. I loved my little condo and my boyfriend, but they were very tiny bright spots in an otherwise fairly dark and hellish daily routine.

Add to that some extreme tension between me and my parents over the above mentioned boyfriend, and you have the icing on an extremely rotten cake. What the hell was I doing with my life???

John (the boyfriend) and I had gotten engaged and were planning a wedding in all this mess. Yet another reason I was staying put - most of my family and friends were in New England. When I had a massive falling out with my mother (who called off my wedding), that was the proverbial straw. I got out of my lease (my landlord was very understanding), gleefully quit my job, packed up all my crap into a U-Haul truck with the help of John and a buddy of his from work and made a run for NJ.

John had rented a cute little house from another buddy of his and was busy feathering this new love nest for his future wife when I moved up the time table. We had every intention of waiting until after our wedding to move in together, but life just wasn't working out that way. Instead, I moved in and we re-planned our wedding, in NJ, together. Once we got home from our honeymoon, it was like a huge weight was lifted. I was able to breath again and really start over. I'd found a new job that turned into a successful career and, other than a few bumps, life has been pretty darn good ever since.

If your life totally blows, I heartily recommend bagging it and moving to NJ. Worked for me.



Chris said…
My best changes were involuntarily brought about by a near fatal head injury. I can't say that I've been in my right mind since, but wasn't sure that I was to begin with ;)
IndigoSunMoon said…
It doesn't matter how much money you make, if you hate your job it just isn't worth it. A lower paying job that you love is much more satisfying.
I think you made a good choice.
Anonymous said…
why in the world did your Mom not like John.
He seems like he is such a good husband and father to you and the boys.
I am happy it all worked out for you..I like happy endings:-)
That must have taken guts to do. I'm glad you did it!
Mike said…
Hi. I came over from Karen's blog. That is a big change. Glad it all worked out for you.
ally said…
kudos to you!
Unhinged said…
I would, but I don't have a John waiting for me...wha-hah-hah
Lori said…
That must have taken a lot of courage, and I'm glad it worked out so well.

I've found that things work out well when I listen to and follow my intuition.
Trish said…
wow. I fricken love this post! Excellent. I can relate on many (many) levels. For me it was MA to CA. But the rest is almost identical. Trippy.

It's experiences like this that have taught me that great change comes whether we consciously instigate it or not. It's tough to trust the process while in it...but I thank God for hindsight.

Yay for you. Where did you live in NH? In what city did you work in MA? Those are my old stomping grounds, as you know.
Kristi Wachter said…
Good for you! I hate to hear of people staying in soul-killing jobs they hate. And moving up the date of the wedding sounds like a great move, too! Congratulations on some great changes.
Donna H said…
Life is too short to be stuck with what sucks! Glad you figured that out at a young age!
Florinda said…
I have to agree with your conclusion; I might not pick New Jersey myself, but whatever works! :-) Thanks for sharing the story, and for visiting my blog today.
Carly said…
Hi Becky :)

Girl, you are a champion! EXCELLENT! It always encourages me to read about the lives of strong, proactive women such as yourself. You didn't just sit back and let life beat you down, you stood up and faced it! You made it happen. I admire you more then you know!

Always, Carly
Kiva said…
I'm always amazed at people who can pick up and just go. You had a lot of guts and I am glad it turned out for the best.

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