Sunday, October 08, 2006

Maximum Overdrive!

We are slowly catching our breath and getting settled into a new routine here. The piles of boxes hastily flung out of the attic still remain in the hallway and playroom. I'll look through them as I have a spare moment. My MIL is due to arrive shortly to lend a hand with baby Max and I know she'll frown at the disarray...but it can't be helped.

We were soooooo unprepared for that phone call, and yet, in a way, we WERE prepared. I saved EVERYTHING from Tyler. All his clothes, baby gear, toys...it was all waiting for Max in the attic. The pack-n-play has been put together in the bedroom with the thought of using it as an extra sleep/changing spot. I'm scratching my head, however, because while the changing table portion was easily found, the bassinet part wasn't...and that upper deck can't be assembled without it.

I'm just thankful that the boys were both born around the same time of year. Tyler weighed a bit more at his birth at the beginning of December, so, size wise, I think Max will be right on track to step into Tyler's shoes (and socks, and shirts, and pants). Nice to know the small fortune I spent on all those cute outfits from Gymboree will have a nice return on the investment. I should have a few years before Max has an opinion on wearing reruns. ;-)

Max had his first visitors today. My friend Norman stopped by with his wife Danit and their toddler son Charlie (he'll be one year old this month). Charlie has gotten so big! I forget how fast kids grow in the first year of life...but I am about to be reminded!

I'm tired but feeling quite content at the moment. Max is fast asleep in his bassinet. Tyler is playing a video game on his gameboy. John is puttering around getting the house more ready for his mother's visit. But I can't help thinking about L. While things happened in a flash for us, she had 9 months to contemplate her options.

I can't place myself in her head because I've never been in the situation she found herself in. But I did have a friend who reacted to an unwanted pregnancy the same way she did. S didn't want to believe she was pregnant. She ignored the situation as long as she could hoping the problem would just go away. She'd already had an abortion in high school and wasn't eager to repeat it. She hid her pregnancy from her friends and family. Only her co-workers noticed and put two and two together. No one said anything to her about it (except me) sensing, correctly, that she just didn't want to talk about it.

I hope L had a co-worker friend like me to confide in. I'd hate to think she carried the burden of her hidden pregnancy all alone. If someone pointed her to the choice of adoption, thank God for them. But I think L's decision was influenced by her own life experiences. Her own mother was adopted. Her own mother got pregnant at a young age and elected to keep her baby. L was raised by a young single mother with no support from her birth father. She knows first hand the struggles her own mother went through and just couldn't see that role playing out for herself.

I respect and admire L's decision. She told the social worker she wanted her baby to have a better life than she had with more opportunities.

Don't worry L. That's the least we will do for baby Max. He'll have loads of love too.

Sleepin Like a Baby

Maybe someday L will change her mind about having contact with us and Max. I hope so. She might not be the one raising him, but she'll always have a place in our family and our hearts.

14 comments:

jennifer said...

Oh Becky, he is too adorable. Because I believe in an ordered universe, I so believe that Max was meant to be your son. And Ty's stuff was just meant to be there for his arrival. And all you guys are gonna have the happiest life.

I can't put into words how happy I am for all of you.

Magogo's Musings, too said...

What a good thing that Tyler's stuff that you squirreled away will fit Max! I can read the joy in your entry, behind your words. Max certainly was born for you and John and Tyler, and a blessed child he is. Beautiful, too.I hope someday he will be able to know his b irth mother. Margo

Aria said...

Oh, you're going to make me cry.

I'm so happy for all of you.

Now I just have to figure out which fabric to make your carrier from.

:)

Donna said...

How does Tyler feel about the new brother?

Pickle Jenn said...

He is just beautiful Becky...

Makes me want another little babe...

Love the entry too... Beautifully written.

Its good to know that you are open to having his birth mother involved if she were to want.

~Jenn

Vivian said...

Now its my turn to cry. What a wonderful entry...what a blessing! God is good. He knew you were the perfect family for Max. I loved the video and the photos. Thank you Becky for sharing this job with us!

Vivian said...

ok I don't know how that word job got in that last sentence. I was trying to say Thanks Becky for sharing this joy with us (it must have been my guilty conscience....I'm supposed to be working from home today...so I guess I was thinking about getting back to my job and wrote job instead of joy in my comment :)

hestiahomeschool said...

We had out of town visitors all weekend so I didn't check my email until today---and when I saw your news and the beautiful picture I burst into tears. I mean literally. Sobbing. That is the way I became a mother, literally within hours. At five o'clock they called and asked if I wanted to adotp Mandy, and at seven she was in my arms. I know the sweet dizziness and disbelief and joy. I am so happy for you, and I haven't even gotten the details yet!!!!!

Oh, and Max is one of my very favorite names!!! Tabitha would have been a Max if she had been born male....

So should I keep passing out your resumes, or tuck them away for awhile??? (Dave made color copies at work and I have given them to six pregnant girls so far...)

love, Kas

Kelly said...

((((Becky,John, Tyler)))
Again,I'm so happy for you.
I look forward to hearing all about baby Max and his wonderful big brother Tyler : )

Coy said...

Obviously ... all is as it should be. Good luck to you and your growing family Becky.
WOW ... 2 boys!
*** Coy ***

Dawn said...

I am so happy for you, I could cry with happiness.

Sara said...

Aww, he's sooooo cute Becky :o) Am wanting a tiny baby cuddle, want to smell that newborn smell!
Sara x

Karen Funk Blocher said...

God bless L, and God bless Max's new family. I know you made the right decision, and will give Max the loving, nurturing, stable home that L. could not.

Becky said...

Oh, I'm just catching up with your stories! I feel the same way about our 2's birth moms. We have next to no contact from either but, I always think of them and forever will of course!
I haven't had a chance to get all thru your blog so, I don't know if you now have had contact with Max's bmom or not? He's precious!