We are slowly catching our breath and getting settled into a new routine here. The piles of boxes hastily flung out of the attic still remain in the hallway and playroom. I'll look through them as I have a spare moment. My MIL is due to arrive shortly to lend a hand with baby Max and I know she'll frown at the disarray...but it can't be helped.
We were soooooo unprepared for that phone call, and yet, in a way, we WERE prepared. I saved EVERYTHING from Tyler. All his clothes, baby gear, toys...it was all waiting for Max in the attic. The pack-n-play has been put together in the bedroom with the thought of using it as an extra sleep/changing spot. I'm scratching my head, however, because while the changing table portion was easily found, the bassinet part wasn't...and that upper deck can't be assembled without it.
I'm just thankful that the boys were both born around the same time of year. Tyler weighed a bit more at his birth at the beginning of December, so, size wise, I think Max will be right on track to step into Tyler's shoes (and socks, and shirts, and pants). Nice to know the small fortune I spent on all those cute outfits from Gymboree will have a nice return on the investment. I should have a few years before Max has an opinion on wearing reruns. ;-)
Max had his first visitors today. My friend Norman stopped by with his wife Danit and their toddler son Charlie (he'll be one year old this month). Charlie has gotten so big! I forget how fast kids grow in the first year of life...but I am about to be reminded!
I'm tired but feeling quite content at the moment. Max is fast asleep in his bassinet. Tyler is playing a video game on his gameboy. John is puttering around getting the house more ready for his mother's visit. But I can't help thinking about L. While things happened in a flash for us, she had 9 months to contemplate her options.
I can't place myself in her head because I've never been in the situation she found herself in. But I did have a friend who reacted to an unwanted pregnancy the same way she did. S didn't want to believe she was pregnant. She ignored the situation as long as she could hoping the problem would just go away. She'd already had an abortion in high school and wasn't eager to repeat it. She hid her pregnancy from her friends and family. Only her co-workers noticed and put two and two together. No one said anything to her about it (except me) sensing, correctly, that she just didn't want to talk about it.
I hope L had a co-worker friend like me to confide in. I'd hate to think she carried the burden of her hidden pregnancy all alone. If someone pointed her to the choice of adoption, thank God for them. But I think L's decision was influenced by her own life experiences. Her own mother was adopted. Her own mother got pregnant at a young age and elected to keep her baby. L was raised by a young single mother with no support from her birth father. She knows first hand the struggles her own mother went through and just couldn't see that role playing out for herself.
I respect and admire L's decision. She told the social worker she wanted her baby to have a better life than she had with more opportunities.
Don't worry L. That's the least we will do for baby Max. He'll have loads of love too.
Maybe someday L will change her mind about having contact with us and Max. I hope so. She might not be the one raising him, but she'll always have a place in our family and our hearts.