FREAKING OUT!
I got a call from our adoption agency this morning. There is a baby WAITING FOR US...right NOW. He was born yesterday and will be ready for discharge tomorrow. All I have to do is call our agency back and say yes.
I have been freaking out for the last 2 hours. Am I ready? It's so...soon! Yeah, I know. We've technically been waiting for almost 2 years for this phone call, but... We had a lot more time to plan with Tyler. Time to get to know his birth mom. This birth mom doesn't want to meet us, at this point. Her decision was last minute, she hadn't had any prenatal care, and I get the feeling she was hiding her pregnancy for a long time. The hospital says the baby seems very healthy, so I'm not too worried about all that.
I'm more worried about being a mother to a newborn TOMORROW. TOMORROW!!!!
Holy crap!
Can I be ready for this? I'm wasting too much time freaking out. I know. There is a baby boy, all alone in a hospital waiting for his mommy and daddy to come get him. Is that me? Am I his mommy? I could really use some kind of sign right about now.
I called my parents and got my Dad on the phone. They were rushing to get ready for doctors appointments and my mom wouldn't even get on the phone. Dad was no help. I tried calling a friend, but either she isn't home or she isn't answering the phone.
I don't know how talking to someone will help. It's still my decision. John had no hesitation. He said yes almost before I got finished telling him the details.
I think some part of me is still dangling my fantasy of having a baby girl in front of me and saying "What about baby Sara? You don't even have a boy's name picked out. Are you settling? You can't do that, if that's the case. You have to be sure. This baby will be yours forever. No reservations! Are you really ready?"
I have been freaking out for the last 2 hours. Am I ready? It's so...soon! Yeah, I know. We've technically been waiting for almost 2 years for this phone call, but... We had a lot more time to plan with Tyler. Time to get to know his birth mom. This birth mom doesn't want to meet us, at this point. Her decision was last minute, she hadn't had any prenatal care, and I get the feeling she was hiding her pregnancy for a long time. The hospital says the baby seems very healthy, so I'm not too worried about all that.
I'm more worried about being a mother to a newborn TOMORROW. TOMORROW!!!!
Holy crap!
Can I be ready for this? I'm wasting too much time freaking out. I know. There is a baby boy, all alone in a hospital waiting for his mommy and daddy to come get him. Is that me? Am I his mommy? I could really use some kind of sign right about now.
I called my parents and got my Dad on the phone. They were rushing to get ready for doctors appointments and my mom wouldn't even get on the phone. Dad was no help. I tried calling a friend, but either she isn't home or she isn't answering the phone.
I don't know how talking to someone will help. It's still my decision. John had no hesitation. He said yes almost before I got finished telling him the details.
I think some part of me is still dangling my fantasy of having a baby girl in front of me and saying "What about baby Sara? You don't even have a boy's name picked out. Are you settling? You can't do that, if that's the case. You have to be sure. This baby will be yours forever. No reservations! Are you really ready?"
Comments
i can't wait to hear whether or not i need to go shopping for a new baby.
I just called you. We're out here cheering for you!!
I can have two brand new custom baby carrier out to you within two days.
I'm so excited. So, did you call?
I am so incredibly excited for you and your family. Take a deep breath and count your blessings. Many prayers and good thoughts for you as you make this decisions. Can't wait to read all about it = )
Sending good thoughts your way.
How exciting : )
Good luck. I can't wait to read all about it!
He is your son. He was meant to be.
I know that when I was pregnant with Shelby I was hoping for a son after two girls, but when I saw the ultrasound and saw she was still alive and a girl I was thrilled. I know you will be thrilled at a son the second he is in your arms, and then you will wonder how you ever lived without him, and then wonder how you could have thought about maybe a girl instead, when you clearly could not live without this beautiful boy...
Oh, I wish I lived closer so I could smell his sweet baby smell and hug you till you squeal.
Your Sarah may be out there waiting for you at some other time, but this baby is yours right now. :-) There are lots of little girls in China needing you at some point in time.... I can tell you, three children is no harder than two, so maybe in about three years we will hear about another adoption of a little girl...he is just stunning!!!!!!!!! What a little beauty he is!!!!!
love, Kas
I guessed that something was up when you mentioned "the baby" in a comment, but yow! I'm finally here playing catch-up, eager to read the whole saga. Congratulations!