Monday, March 28, 2005

Foundlings

One of my favorite UK Mums, JournalsUK over at A Mum's Tale, has written a great article on child abandonment. This topic and the topic of adoption are near and dear to my heart.


She asks the question "In this present age, when having a baby incurs no shame, no penalty from society (quite the opposite), you wonder why this still happens."


Why indeed. In the USA, there is still a great deal of shame attached to having a child outside of marriage. Particularly when it comes to teen pregnancy. There is also a surprising lack of awareness when it comes to the process of adoption.


 Teens receive an amazing amount of pressure from all sides...parents telling them to abstain and if they get into trouble, telling them to have an abortion...from friends telling them to abort or keep the child. Adoption rarely enters the picture, sadly. The mixed messages, shame and confusion are a recipe for disaster.


Meanwhile, we wait. We wait for some poor young girl to find herself pregnant and wanting a way out. A girl who choses to let her baby live, but with someone else to raise him/her. We hope that girl chooses not to abort. Chooses not to abandon or toss that child into the trash.


We may be waiting quite a while...


 

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Polaroid

This weeks entry for Krissy's Photo Scavenger Hunt (#20) was done by Tyler (age 3)! The assignment was to take a photo of anything we wanted, but it had to be a new photo...not from our archives.


Well, during my recent office cleanup project I discovered my old Polaroid Spectra instant camera. Tyler was instantly enchanted. I went off to Amazon to see if they still made instant film for this kind of camera, and sure enough, they do! So I ordered a two pack, instantly.


As soon as the box arrived, Tyler instantly insisted we pop the instant film into my old Polaroid. After one instant test shot of Tyler (done by me to make sure the camera was working):

Tyler was almost instantly impressed! (It does take a mo' for the photo to appear.)


Once Tyler got his grubby little paws on my instant camera, he began snapping away in an instant. So, for your instantaneous amusement, here is Tyler's entry for this weeks photo scavenger hunt:


I was almost instantly amazed at the result. My boy has mad instant skills!


Thursday, March 24, 2005

Interview

My pal Karen had a mock interview done by another journaler...I enjoyed reading her responses and she volunteered to interview me! She sent me these questions a few days ago, but I've been too preoccupied and distracted to complete my assignment. So here goes!

1. Does being a stay at home Mom feel like a completely different life from what you did before, or is there a lot of continuity?

 

There is some continuity between working full time and staying home full time. Instead of spending a lot of time at my computer in an office, I do it in my home office. Instead of spending all my daylight hours shut up in a windowless office, I spend them shut up inside a window filled house. Other than that, it's completely different. The only adult interaction I have during the day now is via IM. My daily activities are more geared around preparing meals, changing diapers and playing with my son.

 

2. What do you miss most about working outside the home?  What do you not miss at all?

 

I miss the daily adult interaction with my coworkers. They were a fun bunch. I miss having the freedom to just walk away from the work and take a break whenever I felt like it. I miss the amazing cafeteria they had at my old company. Lunch nowadays is a challenge. My menu at home is much more limited. I miss the satisfaction of earning a good living and contributing to the household finances and retirement savings. I miss the satisfaction of doing my job well and being recognized for that fact.

 

I don't miss the hour long commute each way. I don't miss the office politics and petty back stabbing. I don't miss the sometimes long hours and stress. I don't miss the long walk from my office to the cafeteria. I don't miss often having to make due with crappy out of date equipment. I don't miss the feeling of being imprisoned in a large fortress of cement and steel when a deadline loomed. I don't miss the exhaustion from working a long day and then staying up way too late at night trying to have some semblance of a "life" outside the office.

 

3. You're obviously a great Mom.  Did you always want to have children (or at least one child) someday, or was it something that became achingly important to you only after you became an adult married person?

Well, thanks! And yes...it was always a given in the back of my mind that one day I would have children. When I was a kid, all my dream careers would always be followed with "and a Mommy."

In college, I thought once I got married that I would have kids right away. I never thought I would have a successful career before hand. When my work life really started heading in a positive direction, I was still newly married. We wanted to wait until we had a house (and not just a rental) to start our family.

By the time we got the house, we had stopped using birth control and were just waiting for chance to dictate what came next. After a couple years of waiting for lightening to strike, my career had really taken off.  But even with the satisfaction that came with being a successful career woman, we still initiated serious medical intervention to try and get pregnant.

In the end, I had JUST received the promotion of my dreams - upper mid-level management with real challenges to my technical expertise, but we still signed up with a local adoption agency and a private adoption attorney. I'd only been in my new job for a couple months when I had to tell my Director that Tyler was on the way. She was stunned. I think she honestly thought that I had given up my dreams of becoming a mother in favor of my career goals. She also thought I would return to work at the end of my maternity leave of absence.

I never went back.

 

4. Would you please describe a perfect day with John and Tyler?

Oh that's easy. All of us on vacation someplace interesting, out having fun and seeing the sights all day, and then relaxing in a luxury hotel room and ordering room service at the end of the day. Ahhh, perfect.
 

5. If you could go anywhere in space and time for the next five days, taking nothing with you and returning with nothing but memories, where and when would you go?

My first thought was to bear witness to the historical events that led to our modern celebration of Easter (did he or didn't he rise from the dead...) but if I come back with an answer that is contrary to the belief of half the world's population; would anyone believe me? Probably not. And who wants to carry that kind of historical burden.


So...I say I'd like to spend 3 of the five days with my birth mother leading up to my own birth, witness me being born, and then spend the following 2 days with her after I was gone to see her reactions. I think that would answer every question I have ever had about the unknown portion of my history.


Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Preschool

   


I'm in a quandary. Being queen of the procrastinators isn't always a good thing when it comes to my job as "Mom". Technically, I could have started Tyler in preschool as early as 18 months old in one of the few programs available around here. I wasn't ready to stick him in school at that age.


Honestly, I'm not really ready to stick him in school NOW...but I don't want him to be at some sort of educational disadvantage when he starts kindergarten around age 5. So it's now or never for preschool. I happened to see an article in the free paper we get that school enrollment season started last month. Yikes!


So today I pulled out some old research on preschool education and set about finding a local Montessori (my preferred curriculum) school. There aren't any. The closest will be a 25 minute drive each way. Ugly, but doable. So I called them first. The very nice school administrator took my name, promised to send an information packet and also said I should schedule a school tour ASAP...she couldn't be sure they had any spots left available. CRAP! I could be in trouble...


Next I called Kiddie Academy. They are building a new one down the road from me, about 10 minutes drive, and it is just about ready to open. They aren't Montessori and are more geared to day care with schooling thrown in. I am NOT looking for day care. It's closer, but not ideal in my mind.


Finally, I called The Goddard School. This is another new facility that is about 10 minutes away but they aren't even close to being ready to open. The woman I spoke with at their corporate offices said probably some time in August. They seem to be evenly divided between school and day care...but that day care element is still there.


I just don't know what to do. I want the best for Tyler and I really fear making a mistake. Not that attending the wrong preschool will ruin him for life... but I don't want him to be behind his peers once regular school starts. I also fear giving up control of him to people I barely know. How do mother's who work entrust their kids to daycare facilities all day, every day? I am a wreck just thinking about dropping him off that first day.


How can I do it? How do I say good bye to my baby and let him start growing up without me?


Damn. Now I'm crying again. I am such a mess.


Does anyone know anything about the Kiddie Academy or Goddard chain of "schools"?


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Shiznit!

I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath! Thanks Sara for this link:


Snoop Dogg's Shizzolator


Here is a rockin quote from my journal after shizzolating it:


"Ah well, know what I'm sayin'? She wuz impressed wit izzall my photos 'n da bomb diggity portfolio I've put together fo' potental birth-mothers look at. The house looks pretty gravy. All we can do now is wait, know what I'm sayin'?"


Monday, March 21, 2005

Alcatraz

I don't like prison movies. I don't like movies about sports. I don't like most biographical movies either. But every now and then I see a film that technically qualifies as one of these categories and I am riveted. In the past, these movies have included The Shawshank Redemption, Dead Man Walking, A League of Their Own, The Green Mile, The Replacements...


Last night I saw Murder in the First. I know...the movie is from 1995. Back then, I wrote it off as just another prison movie. For some reason, last night I finally decided not to change the channel. I'm glad I didn't. Kevin Bacon as Henri Young...my God that man can act! He's come a long way since Footloose. Christian Slater was also excellent (as always). I am still drying tears! Powerful, powerful story. I highly recommend it.


In an odd twist, just as the movie ended, I turned to look out the window. As I was drying my eyes, the rain turned to snow as I watched. 


Before Murder, I also saw A Midsummer Night's Dream (from 1999) with Kevin Kline (who knew he could do Shakespeare?!), Michelle Pfeiffer (ditto!), Stanley Tucci (what a body on that man...wow...), Rupert Everett (he's hot!), Calista Flockhart, Christian Bale (yummy)...ok. Enough name dropping. It's...what's the expression Stuart? Chock-a-block? full of big name talent. I liked the interpretation of the play...they set the story in Athens, Italy at the turn of the 19th century. Bottom introduces opera to the fairies. Wonderful soundtrack on the film. I ran right off to Amazon to buy it and two other opera CDs (best of the arias and best of the duets).


I think I am getting hormonal, because the music from Midsummer made me cry also. Weepy weepy girlie girlie! Must be nearing that time of the month.


Anywho...if you haven't seen these films, they get two thumbs up from me. Have some tissues handy. 


Sunday, March 20, 2005

Scrutiny

Well...the social worker has come and gone. Overall, I think it went well. After the house walk-through, we all sat in the living room to talk. Tyler was NOT behaving well. He was a major disturbance. He didn't want us to talk, so he screamed and carried on. *sigh*  I laughed it off. I don't know what got in to Ty today. He is usually pretty well behaved.


As she was updating our personal family information, the doorbell rang. It was a FreeCycle person looking to pick up some books and a cross stitch begginers kit I had posted. Turns out our social worker is a major FreeCycler too! So that sparked a lively discussion about giving things away and being tempted by other people's offerings.


Suddenly, she changed gears and got back to the home study. The next question? "What is your Mother-in-Law's name?" Uh. Uh. Um... CRAP! Major brain fart. I couldn't remember my own MIL's name!!!! John had taken Tyler upstairs to try and distract him so I had to holler to the other end of the house and ask that REALLY stupid question. John was laughing. OMG I need some sleep or something. LOL


I hope she doesn't hold that against us. I also blabbed about giving in to anger twice and spanking Tyler when he did something that SCARED ME TO DEATH. We are a no-hit household, ordinarily. She said "well...I just won't put that in here. Not that I am LYING. You don't believe in spanking, right?"  NJ's division of youth and family services has a strict no corporal punishment policy. eeek. I knew that. I don't know why I felt the need to confess. Probably because I feel so darn GUILTY for doing it and she was such a nice lady and easy to talk to.


Ah well. She was impressed with all my photos and the cool portfolio I've put together for potental birth-mothers to look at. The house looks pretty good. All we can do now is wait.


P.S. Now maybe I can get caught up on my journal reading! I am sooo far behind. LOL


Eggs!

Saturday was the day of the big annual town Easter Egg Hunt, so we took a break from cleaning and hopped over to the elementary school with Easter Basket in hand.


In my book, taking candy filled plastic eggs and flinging them around an open field is NOT my idea of a "hunt." But Tyler had fun, nonetheless. Once again this year he wanted NOTHING to do with the Easter Bunny. Poor Bunny is going to develop a complex.


Ty was pleased with his haul of eggs, including one green prize egg that earned him the right to visit the special prize table and pick a gift. Big surprise, he chose the 3-pack of dicast cars. Our house already looks like a parking facility for Lilliputians.



To top off the outing, we paid a visit to the brand spankin' new White Castle restaurant that opened just up the road from us. What a zoo! I have NEVER seen a fast food place so packed in my life! You'd think they were giving away solid gold hamburgers in there.


Those rat burgers are darn tasty, I must say. My fat intake is blown for the year now.


Finally, we are ALMOST done cleaning. My office is nothing short of astounding. I can see my desk! I can see my floor! I can enter and exit without tripping!!! Yay me! Cross fingers...the social worker will be here today between 1 and 1:30 PM.


I'm going back to bed now.


Friday, March 18, 2005

Pins

I am still in organizing hell...the "organize Becky's office" project is seemingly insurmountable. I think I have made progress (but it sure doesn't LOOK like it).


The latest find in my treasure trove of saved crap is a large collection of AT&T sponsor Olympics pins...all but one from the 1998 games in Nagano, Japan. I have two complete sets and then a bunch of individual duplicates. I did a little research and it looks like these pins sell for $5 each. If that's true, I've got a pile of cash on my desk right now.


Apparently, pin trading is or was a hot hobby. I may have missed the boat. Anyone out there know anything about collecting and trading of enamel pins? I have one pin from the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, GA also. This pin I got because I was a volunteer at an AT&T Sponsor event just before the opening of the Olympic park/village.


The other interesting thing I came across (well, interesting to ME anyway) was my AT&T desk diary from 1997. I have one for 1998 too. I used to use these pretty red leather, gold embossed, library bound calendars to record my daily activities. It was fun to flip through the pages and see all the work minutia I had recorded...long forgotten systems and processes from my days as an Information Applications Manager (IAM) in Wholesale Markets.


Every now and then, I see a personal entry among the work junk. One in particular jumped out at me. Recorded for posterity...April 19, 1997. "Off to the hospital at 8:15 PM with severe abdominal pain."  I obviously made note of this AFTER my hospitalization when I was home for weeks on disability (also noted in my diary) to recover from the most intense health crisis I have yet suffered. That was THE big one. The one where endometriosis not only took my ovary and tubes, but almost took my life. Funny how it's all boiled down to one sentence in an old work calendar.


Ah well...into the trash they go.


Thursday, March 17, 2005

Cabbage?






Happy St. Patrick's Day All!







Long ago and far away, my father-in-law was growing up in Hawaii and decided to join the Boy Scouts. Part of his scouting adventure included learning how to cook such culinary masterpieces as Hobo Stew and Corned Beef & Cabbage.


Now, Hawaiian Boy Scout style Corned Beef and Cabbage is nothing like the Irish/American version...but in honor of St. Patty's Day (and in memory of my FIL), John decided to make this unusual dish.


I was hesitant. Very.


How to make Hawaiian Boy Scout's Corned Beef & Cabbage:


1 can of corned beef
1 head of white cabbage
1 can of bean sprouts
Equal part soy sauce and water (John used about a cup of each)


Bring water and soy to a boil in a large pot with cover. Chop up cabbage, boil (with pot lid on) in water/soy mixture until it starts to soften and wilt, add corned beef, let cook until corned beef loses shape of can and starts falling apart, drain can of bean sprouts and add to pot. Heat through (approx. 2 minutes).


Serve over white rice.


I know what you're thinking. Yuck. I'm eating this as I type and ya know what? It's pretty damn tasty!

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Clutter

What have I gotten myself in to? Sure, I want another baby; but do I have to have a completely clutter free house in order to be a good Mom? Seriously! Ugh.


I started on the office of doom today. This area has not been completely cleaned out in probably 9 years (when I got my "new" desk). I used to think, "I'll save that. It would sell easily at a yard sale..." Who am I kidding? I'm never going to be organized enough to have a yard sale.


So I decided to just give everything away. Make a fresh start. Honestly...I wonder who is going to want pounds of free graphics software that is circa 1996-97. But you never know. Some people are still using computers with Windows 95 and 98 on it, right? (Don't rain on my FreeCycle parade, people. Please.)


So I emptied one of 2 book cases today. When the HECK did I buy the Zone Diet book? Eating on the Run? Photoshop in a Nutshell?? A beginner's kit of cross stitch supplies??? Huh. I also have quite the collection of outdated HTML and Internet technology books of various types. Old school text books too. A hand made oil lamp. A sand sculpture in the shape of a lighthouse. Someone might want this stuff.


John pitched in and went through his compu-doodads in the basement to add to the list of freebies up for grabs. We have a veritable warehouse down there. You name it, we probably have at least one of it. Three 15" monitors, hun? Really?! Why, oh why, were we keeping all those old monitors?? Hmm?


Man, I hope SOMEONE wants this stuff. It would seem like such a waste to just throw them all away. Stop me before I put everything back on the shelves!


*whew*

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Scavengers

This week's photo scavenger hunt theme (from Krissy's journal) is "Looking Up":



This is one of my favorite features on my house...my starburst window that is over my back sliding glass door that leads to my deck. I wanted to get this photo as the sun was setting because the window looks directly west toward the mountains, but we were cleaning the house like mad today and I spaced. Ah well...it's a cool window, no? I love my martini glasses and funky vases on the sill.



Another view looking up...this is my ceiling fan/light fixture in my great room. We got to pick out all the light fixtures in this house as it was built and I got two of these. One is in the kitchen too. It's all one big great room...family room and kitchen...with vaulted ceilings. This really is a cool house. Too bad it's just too small for us.

Rosie O'Donnell

An open letter to Rosie O'Donnell:


Rosie? I don't know you, but I love you. You don't know me, but you helped give me the greatest gift I have ever received.


In 1999, we were doing serious research on adoption. We had been to various conferences and attended meetings with various adoption support groups...but all the books and research had only left us more confused on where to start. My husband and I weren't getting any younger and we didn't want to be stuck on waiting lists for years and years like some of our friends had been. We had already lost too much time in fruitless attempts at various fertility treatments.


I was already a huge fan of yours (loved all your movies and watched your talk show avidly) and my ears would perk up every time you talked about your kids. I found myself wishing I could talk with you and learn all your adoption secrets.


I remember reading and hearing some negative comments about yours and other celebrity adoptions and the allegations of "baby selling" and that only people with money could adopt quickly. I knew this wasn't true. There had to be something we were missing.


Then you did it! You had a whole hour long show dedicated to adoption. And guess what? Sure...having money does help the process, but only because you can have multiple sources, in multiple states, working for you to find a child to love. Duh! So simple... Your website was the icing on the cake. So much great information!


We were far from wealthy, but we could afford to go to two sources in our adoption search. On your recommendation, we had a private agency in our home state and a private adoption attorney in another state helping us find our baby.


From the date we submitted our portfolio to the day my son was placed in my arms, only a little more than 10 months had passed. Friends and family were amazed! Of course, we had a significant amount of good luck on our side; but I still attribute a large portion of that luck to your timely and excellent advice.


If I ever have the opportunity to meet you; I hope you don't mind if I cry, give you a hug, and offer to buy you a Happy Meal.


Ro? You rock!


Warmest Regards,


Becky in NJ



P.S. - Love the new BLOG!

Friday, March 11, 2005

Seurat

Weekend Assignment #50: Art for Art's Sake


I remember a day in math class in my early years of school. We were discussing plotting points on a graph. I think our teacher sensed our minds wandering off the slightly boring topic, so she went off on a tangent about how math touches all aspects of life...including art.


That is when I first heard about the pointilliste method of painting. Pointillism! I was fascinated by how these artists could take a bunch of dots and turn them into these amazing works of art. My instant favorite was Georges Seurat. I went to the library at my next free moment and checked out an art book. The Seurat painting that grabbed my attention the most was:



Un dimanche après-midi à l'Ile de la Grande Jatte by Georges Seurat


"Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte" was just amazing. I remember looking at it for what felt like hours. I felt like I could just fall into the picture...and that night I had a dream. I dreamt I was in a museum looking at this painting when I swore that one of the kids was moving. He was waving to me and motioning to me to follow him. Years later I saw a movie or cartoon that had this same idea in it. Obviously, I was not the only one affected that way by seeing this painting.


How much money do I think is my art budget maximum? Right now, I probably couldn't justify paying more than $1,000 for a painting, drawing, photo or print that I loved. Not when I can get a perfectly framed poster version for $50 or less. Having "real" art on my walls just isn't a priority. I like having my own photography on my walls, a little Native American arts and crafts, some Asian prints and some Impressionist prints. That's good enough for me. Having unlimited funds probably wouldn't change that attitude.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Sunset

Your Monday Photo Shoot #1: Sunsets



Outer Banks of North Carolina - Corolla Sunset '03


We rented a beach house in June of 2003. I'd love to do that again one of these days soon. It was a great place and a great trip. I could get used to having my own pool and hot tub. Ah memories...oh yeah. This photo was taken on our first day at the beach. We all took a sunset walk and I just loved seeing the color in the sky, the folks enjoying various recreational activities, and dolphins frolicking in the surf.


Monday, March 07, 2005

Death


Yes, I have this LP in my basement.


Death is a fact of life. You might say I have an unhealthy fascination with death. I don't think it's unhealthy. Sure, I love all those forensics based shows. Sure I have a thing for horror movies and serial killers (I don't want to date one...I just find the psychology interesting.) Sure I wish my mind worked the way Stephen King's does. (That man is even more twisted than I could ever hope to be. Isn't it great?!)


What really gets to people in my family is that I have no problems discussing my own death. Everyone else avoids the topic. Like talking about it will somehow make the event come to pass? More likely they just don't like to think about it. I can understand that. I don't WANT to be dead. I rather enjoy my life, thanks very much. But I do like to think about what might come next. What is beyond this life, if anything.


I am also interested in the whole business of death. It's quite the industry, you know. I used to be a huge fan of the show Six Feet Under. I'm pretty sure its the first TV show that chronicles the life of a family that grew up living in and running a funeral home. I lost track of the show as Tyler got older. One of these days I'll rent the boxed set and get caught up.


The business of death...in the end, your family has lots of difficult decisions to make at a time when making those decisions will be the most difficult. Why not have the decisions made in advance? No one wants to talk about it.


My parents are getting up there in age. I at least got my Dad to put together a document on his computer detailing where he keeps his insurance info and financials. Do they have any idea where they want to be buried? No idea. They won't talk about it. A wake? Full Mass at their church? Which church...they attend 3 different ones. Music? Grave side memorial service? What about a headstone? So many questions... If you guys don't give me answers, you are getting a circus themed funeral complete with clowns and a monkey act! So sayeth I!


As for me? My wishes are simple. I don't want a wake. I want to be cremated in the least expensive way possible (no fancy casket please). I would like my ashes to be spread in Hawaii - Maui, preferably, at some place overlooking the water. I'd like for there to be a small memorial service for my ash spreading and an additional memorial party back home (so everyone doesn't have to fly to Hawaii...but I encourage as many people to make the trip as possible...it's a great place to visit.)


At the party, I want people to share stories about my life. Happy events. Tell my son everything you remember about me. And print out a copy of this journal (and/or future journals if I ever relocate) so he will have some record of my life and personality.


Finally, a memorial scholarship in my name...so future generations will wonder who I was and be happy they learned my name (since I am funding a semester at school). Oh, and maybe dedicate a nice stone bench or something in a pretty park somewhere. I always find myself reading dedication plaques on benches and whatnot and wondering who those people were and thinking how thoughtful it was of the family to put a bench there for me to use.


See? That's not so bad. Now I have a written record of my wishes. Let's hope they don't need to be used for at LEAST 40 years.


Oh...and if I am ever injured in an accident or get so ill as to require extraordinary means to keep me alive...don't go there. I don't want to exist on machines. Just let me go. I'm interested to see what comes next and I don't want to be stuck between here and there.


How about you, fearless readers? Did the subject of this entry make you close my journal with a cold chill up your spine? Or is the topic something you can talk about without fear or distaste?

Friday, March 04, 2005

Gamer


It's almost unreal how quickly Tyler took to online games. I may just have to put him to work helping me earn my Pogo game badges. He switches easily between his Dad's laptop and my desktop PC. No problems with mouse confusion. I've been spending some time finding fun games online that are age appropriate. Anyone with kids have any good websites to recommend?


Another developmental note: Tyler's first word that he can read, spell and type? POOP. Ah yes...the sophistication of a 3 year old boy. He loves to type POOP in my IM windows and send it to my friends. (Honestly...I'm not yelling POOP at you all. Really!)


Thanks to recent efforts to locate good Knock Knock jokes for a pal in England, Tyler has discovered the joy of Knock Knock jokes. Big giggles from the "Boo Who?" version. Total hysterics for the "Orange you glad I didn't say Banana again?" one. He even makes up his own jokes. Of course, they make no sense...but he is hugely amused by such gems as:


"Knock Knock!"


Who's there?


"Bingo!"


Bingo who?


"Bingo Mommy! HAHAHAHAHAHA"


HAHA funny one, son.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Discrimination

Today I received a forwarded email through one of the loops I belong to. It contained 12 photos of large women in lingerie with the title "2005 Krispy Kreme Lingerie Calendar". I felt a twinge of pain and my heart instantly went out to the poor women whose photos were obviously stolen and used with such malicious intent.


The sole purpose of this email? To laugh at these lovely large women. To hold them up to public shame and embarrassment solely because they dared to tread into the milieu of the "thin" woman...the wearing of sexy lingerie.


Even worse? The woman who forwarded the email added the following insensitive and hurtful comment at the top:


"Please tell me what woman in her right mind would pose for a picture like this let alone wear something like this if she were that large?? Anyway, show it to your hubby's and tell him to thank his lucky stars that you don't look like that LOL"


Especially since my recent humiliation at the hands of my uber insensitive brother-in-law and sister-in-law, I felt compelled to respond. I sent the following through the loop:


Don't large women have a right to dress sexy for their men? Fat people have feelings too. We have men who love us.


The women in those photos...Many of them certainly had no expectation that their glamor shots would be distributed on the internet and held up for public ridicule by people, such as yourself, who are bigots.


"Bigot?!"


That's right. Discrimination against people of size is one of the last mainstream forms of bigotry in the United States today. Every day, large men and women are the target of ridicule, scorn and disgust. Who are you to sit in judgment? Who are you to decide what looks good? What women are allowed to wear?


How would you feel if someone were sitting out there making public statements and judgments about you based solely on your appearance?


And it goes far beyond just mean-spirited comments and finger pointing. Large men and women are routinely discriminated against when applying for jobs and insurance. A fat woman makes, on average, $7,000 a year less than her thinner co-workers.


The average dress size of an American woman is 16, folks.


Fat does not equal unhealthy. Statistically, health problems are more related to age than weight. Large women actually have a LOWER instance of many health problems including osteoporosis.


Next time you feel the urge to point your finger and laugh at a fat person - imagine that person is your best friend. Your cousin. Your aunt or uncle. Your father or mother. They are REAL PEOPLE with REAL FEELINGS.


Sit in judgment of yourself, for a change.


Welcome to the PlussWomen Website - Plus Size Discrimination

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Realization

It just hit me...


HOLY CRAP! I am turning 39 in 14 days! I'm running out of 30s!!!


*groan*


p.s. Regarding the moving... We added up the laundry list of things we want to do to the house to make it livable for the long term (remove old carpets, put down hardwood floors, finish the basement to add an office/additional bedroom and playroom, clear the back yard and regrade/landscape to make a safe area for Tyler to play - our front yard is sloped and the road is rather busy at times...yadda yadda). It would be a pretty huge expense.


We decided it would be easier to find a new house that already has all the components we are looking for. Time to upgrade, in other words. It will just be an in-state move. Probably within an hour of where we live now. We need room to grow. Another mouth to feed coming...hopefully soon.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Window

Photo Challenge Beta: Out Your Window



What's out my front window today? Snow! And lots of it. At the bottom of the photo, my yard reaches up to a peak with my mailbox at the apex. From there you see the view across and down my street. The snow plow did a nice job on the road this morning.


We should probably try and sell our house in the winter. Then perhaps the buyers won't notice how little landscaping we've done as compared with our neighbors. The snow cover hides a lot of sins (and weeds). That doesn't help me with the interior...or does it.


Will buyers appreciate a thick layer of spray-on snow hiding the clutter in here? At least the fumes would get me totally stoned. Then I don't have to think about what an insurmountable task moving will be.