Sunday, February 27, 2005


"I can't believe he actually took him to the party...I am so anxious to hear how that all went...send an e-mail if you don't want to post about it, okay? I don't know how you got over that...I am STILL mad for you..." JAE

Well, since you asked... We had a long talk about the party. Tyler really adores his two cousins. They all play together so nicely too. I just couldn't see penalizing poor little K for the garbage his parents were spewing at us. Of course, there was no way in HELL I was going to the party. John bit the bullet, swallowed a touch of pride, and took Ty to see his cousins.

Things were mostly civil, but Tyler didn't have as much fun as I had hoped. He is used to having his cousins' undivided attention, and this was not the case at the party. Too many little friends that Ty's cousins see and play with much more frequently. So Ty was feeling a little left out.

The party was at a place called The Little Gym. Ty hasn't had any exposure to tumbling or overly structured play before, so it was a bit of a bewildering experience for him. All the other kids there apparently go to this place a lot and knew the routines. Ah well.

John says Ty did ok, but after running around like a little wild man for a bit, Ty plopped himself down on a floor cushion and said, "I don't want to play any more. I'm pooped." This was followed by a lengthy coughing fit. We are all trying to shake this lingering cough, but Ty's coughing earned John some "evil eye" looks from other parents. Heh.

At the end of the party, John's brother approached him and matter-of-factly stated that all plans for my MIL's surprise birthday party were a go. Such arrogance. Just assuming we were going to go along with what they planned. John calmly said, "That's great T, but we are still angry with you guys and have no plans to attend."

Apparently T got quite pissy and said "This is for MOM you know!" We know. We already have other plans to spend quiet time with my MIL to celebrate her birthday. T just has no clue what they did wrong. He said as much to John. I give John a lot of credit for not starting something and, instead, keeping his cool.


I hate family drama. I wish everyone in our family was sensitive to each other's feelings and respected each other's differences. We don't like being looked down upon and treated like second class citizens in this family. We don't always have to approve of what the others do, but keep your opinions to yourself!

Saturday, February 26, 2005


I've been wanting to participate in Krissy's Photo Scavenger Hunt's been a while. I just seem to run out of time to put in an entry. As it is, this one is last minute and not even one of my photographs. But it's one of my all time favorite black and white images.

This is Tyler (as captured by an ultrasound tech at about 30 weeks gestation)

Ty is looking toward the upper left...this is a profile. I've seen clearer ultrasound images of other babies, but none that mean as much to me as this one.


I had a rare stretch of alone time today. John swallowed a bit of pride and decided to take Tyler to his cousin K's birthday party. I told John as they were leaving not to start anything...just for K's benefit. I didn't want his party ruined by the ugliness currently going on between his parents and us.

I wandered around the house and made a mental list of all the chores I had half completed or incomplete and began to feel too overwhelmed. I decided to just pick one thing, do it, and go from there. Laundry came to mind (especially since John had such a hard time locating weather appropriate and matching clothing for Tyler as they got ready to leave.)

So what was at the top of my mental list of most critical loads to be washed? Bedding. We'd run out of clean sheets and blankets. When I am sick, nothing feels quite so nice as sliding into cool clean sheets and soft scented pillow cases. I stripped the bed and heaved my favorite ice blue sheets and checkerboard quilt in shades of ocean turquoise and purple over the banister railing. This deposits the wash in the stairway leading into the laundry room. It makes a very handy laundry chute.

As I forced my large load of sheets into my too-small top loading washer, I began to think about my personal laundry methodology. It differs dramatically from my Mother's methods.

My Mom was a tad obsessive about laundry. She didn't just sort by light and dark. No. She had subtle sub-categories of washing. Light delicate warm. Light delicate cold. Dark delicate warm/cold. White cotton hot (mostly underwear). White cotton blend warm. White miscellaneous other warm. Dark cotton cold...and so on.

Every article had to be turned right side OUT before going into the washer. The detergent was put under the running water and allowed to dissolve and suds up first before any clothes were added. At the completion of the load, each item was removed one by one, grasped by the seams, and given a crisp snap to open it up and remove some of the wrinkles. She swore by this step. Claimed it reduced her ironing time.

Ironing. Don't get me started on her process there. She ironed EVERYTHING.

Me? I have 7 categories of wash:

* Delicate Dark (washed in cold water)
* Delicate Light (washed in warm water)
* Dark (washed in warm with a cold rinse)
* Light/White (washed in warm with a warm rinse)
* Hot wash (stuff I think needs to be sterilized)
* Tyler's dark wash (warm wash/cold rinse, special soap)
* Tyler's light wash (warm wash/warm rinse, special soap)

All my wash gets heaved over the banister and sorted on my laundry room floor. There is always a template of vague piles down there to follow as I never "finish" my laundry. The largest pile or items of pressing need (John - "Honey? I have no more underwear!") get tossed in the washer first.

As the water is running, I wait for the washer to fill to a certain level then I add the detergent under the stream. If I am satisfied with the suds level, I slam the lid and go upstairs. If not, I add more soap. Sometimes I stand and watch the water cascade over the clothes and rinse out the lid/cup I used for the soap. Sometimes I add my Downy Ball (a fabric softener dispenser).

Just about everything goes into the drier on LOW (except sheets - high, and certain delicates that get hung to dry) with a Bounce sheet to prevent static cling. I don't shake things out like my Mom did. I just shove it all in there. The shake out comes later when I am folding. That is also when things go from inside out to right side in.

So what is your laundry methodology? Is there anything you do that you think is odd? I like to inhale the steam when I run a hot wash (particularly right now). I like to watch the agitation sometimes. It's rather mesmerizing.

Today, after I went down to put my sheets in the drier, I discovered the drier full of a mystery dark wash. John mush have run out of something and decided to do a wash himself. I love it when he does that. It's like a laundry treat! The only problem was, there were no free baskets downstairs. So I went looking. That's when I discovered that while I had done quite a bit of folding, I had neglected the putting away part of the process. All the baskets were full.

I went looking for a basket with the least amount of clean items waiting to be put away and discovered, buried under a pile of folded light-weight seasonal blankets in the bedroom, an UNFOLDED basket of wash that had probably been hiding there since the Carter administration.

But's been under there for months. It was a veritable laundry bonanza! All the orphan socks I've been looking for since last Fall...the top half of one of John's flannel PJs (the bottoms have been sitting alone in his pajama drawer for ages)...some underthings I've been searching for (including my Valentine's Day underwear and matching socks with the hearts on them)...and some pillow cases I've been looking for.

Now lest this entry lead you to believe I am fond of laundry, I am not. I hate doing the laundry. But the process is interesting. You washer came equipped with an automatic soap and fabric softener dispenser; but I haven't a clue how they work. Never learned.

Friday, February 25, 2005


Things I used to be able to do (and wish I still could):

1. Play the violin.

2. Ride a skateboard.

3. Do the splits.

4. Do a backbend (more the yoga style...push myself up from the floor until my back and body arch like a rainbow)

5. Fit into a size 10.

6. Ride all the rides at Six Flags without throwing up, feeling too dizzy or having "fit" issues.

7. Ride a bike.

8. Dance ballet in toe shoes.

9. Twirl a baton.

10. Ride a horse.

11. Play tennis.

12. See my feet when I look down from a standing position.

13. Do a high kick like David Lee Roth in the video for Jump.

14. Hula hoop.

15. Ice skate.

I knew if I made a list, I would find it enlightening. I was an active and talented kid. I wonder why I never FELT like I was back when I could do all these things.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005


Classic Tyler - Ty at 3 months old from his "Tyler's First Year" calendar

I've been feeling a little sad that we basically missed Valentine's Day this year (we were at a funeral). Even husband never even got me a card. He ALWAYS gets me a card. But I forgive him (the funeral was for his grandmother).

In a move that was totally uncharacteristic of my normal self (queen of the procrastinators), I actually went Valentine's shopping weeks in advance. I even mailed Valentine's from Tyler before we left on vacation. Scary.

So Happy Belated Valentine's Day everyone! Heh.

Today, I was taken on a journey into the "fat" memories and thoughts banging around in my brain. Sistercdr wrote a thought provoking entry on being fat in a thin-minded world and accepting our bodies...not letting negative body image control your life.

I say AMEN SISTER! I, too, let people tear me down too easily. FATism is a far too accepted form of discrimination in this country.

Who frowns upon or corrects the person who makes fun of people of size? Why is it OK to laugh at or be disgusted by people who are a plus size? People come in all shapes and sizes.

It would be a pretty dull world if everyone were a size 2.

Chocolate Update: I've tried the Fudge bar, Flake, Wine Gums, Dairy Milk w/ Caramel, Creme Egg, and Cadbury Buttons. So far, Dairy Milk is in first place as my favorite. Sara? Will I still like you when I step on my scale? LOL! Kidding! Just more of me to love. ;-)

Monday, February 21, 2005


I got a package from England a few days ago. Since I've been sick, I've been saving it for a day I was feeling better and could REALLY appreciate it's contents. I'm still not 100% but I needed some cheering up I opened my package.

Yay! Chocolate bonanza! And look Karen...Jelly Babies!!!! (She'll know what I mean.) Whee!! I'm feeling MUCH happier now. Sara...your package will be departing tomorrow. It's all boxed up and ready to go. :-)

I dug right in to the Cadbury Dairy Milk (gosh I love caramel). Mmm mmm!

It's really interesting looking at the differences in packaging/consumer information. Our food products list more details on nutritional content. Neat!

Sunday, February 20, 2005


After some soul searching, John decided to tell me something tonight he knew I wouldn't like.

Apparently, he had a conversation with his brother yesterday. "T" had called John on his cell phone to inform him that they (he and his wife) were purchasing new family room furniture. New furniture? Didn't they just get new furniture a few months ago??

According to Tom, they had to get all new furniture because I had ruined their sofa. Excuse me??? There was a visible "indent" in the sofa. I don't know all the details. All I know is they are blaming my fat ass for breaking their sofa cushion.

At first I was deeply embarrassed and upset. I cried. Could I have really "broken" their sofa?? Is it possible? The more I thought about it, the more upset I became. How could I cause a permanent indent in their damn sofa?!? I wasn't sitting in it for very long at Christmas. Are they sure the "indent" is my fault?? John said he argued that point and Tom very nastily insisted that YES, it was me.

Now I went from sad and embarrassed to angry and hurt. How could they just point the finger at me and assume it was my fault? Worse yet, how tacky is it that they called and POINTED IT OUT TO MY HUSBAND THAT THEY HAVE TO GET ALL NEW FURNITURE and, get this, THAT I AM NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SIT ON MOST OF THEIR FURNITURE. Oh sure, I am still welcome in their home, but from now on I must SIT ON SOMETHING STURDIER LIKE A HARD WOODEN KITCHEN CHAIR.

I'm sorry T, but I KNOW you were raised better. If I had broken something, I would have immediately said so and offered to pay for it. I know there is NO WAY I caused any harm to their stupid sofa. And the fact that they felt the need to call and place blame in such a petty and hurtful way... I am never going over to their home again.

I would NEVER have called attention to something like this. It's not like they can't afford new furniture. But that's not even the point. I'm not articulating this well because I am SO FREAKIN ANGRY. Don't they have ANY clue how this little accusation of theirs would make me feel? Don't fat people have feelings too?

For them to automatically assume it's my fault. It's beyond rude. It's beyond hurtful. It's despicable. I would have just kept this assumption to myself, got a new sofa, and the next time the person I suspected "ruined" my furniture came over to visit, I would have made an excuse as to why I didn't want anyone to sit on the new furniture. Oh, we just had it ScotchGuarded...or oh, the leg is wobbly...why don't you sit in that chair over there (and have a chair ready for them to use). ANYTHING but call up the person's spouse behind their back and make these insulting and degrading accusations.

I'm devastated. Tyler loves his cousins so very much and they get along so well. I don't want to deprive him of a relationship with them. But, this is not the first insulting and hurtful thing that T or his wife have said to or about us. John told me tonight that he has always sensed some sort of dislike or disapproval from my sister-in-law. I know. I've sensed it too. But I have no idea why or what it's about. I've been nothing but nice to them over the years.

Needless to say, I will NOT be bringing Tyler to his cousin's birthday party at the end of the month. John said he won't bring him either. I won't go to my mother-in-law's house if I know they are going to be there. I hate that it's come to this. But I know I just won't feel comfortable around them ever again. If I see them, I'll just cry.

LATER: It turns out that the oh-so-offensive sofa cushion eventually returned to normal (space age foam core I guess), but just looking at my ass print for the hour or however long it took to spring back was too much for my SIL. It made her ill just thinking about sitting where my ass used to that's why they needed to run out and get a whole new sofa. Nice.

This entry used to be in my old blog on AOL and the outpouring of support I got from that blogging community was so great, I wanted to copy over the comments too.

  • Damn, This T, is not even a person. He is a VERY ARROGANT ASSHOLE. Please don't go there again. I'm surprised your husband didn't go kick his ass. (pardon all my french, this just makes me mad). what, did t want you guys to pay for his stupid couch too??? what a JERK!!!!! i have never heard of such shit in my life! it makes me want to call him and tell him what i think... can i have his number???? lol, but somehow, i'm not kidding... what a JERK. his kids proably jumped on his furniture... what kind of people are these? i'm sooooooo sorry you have to be somehow related to them.
    God Bless you.
  • This is ridiculous. I would never speak to them again. Why did it take until NOW to tell you this information? How do you know that someone else has not been to their house and broken it and now they are blaming it on you? They sound like spiteful people. Until they make amends, I would have nothing further to do with them. Hugs to you!
  • New to your journal. How appalling of someone to be so rude and cruel as to even speak something of this. I say "screw 'em!"
  • Bless your little heart! Why do some people think they have the "know all" over everyone else. I am a big girl and I know it takes a large person to plop themselves down pretty darn hard to break a sofa, especially a new sofa. I'm sorry to hear your in-laws are so inconsiderate and hurtful towards you. I know, all too well, it's difficult when family does not get along. Hang in there and follow your heart.
  • That was a shitty thing to do....Sad all around

  • heart hurt just reading your entry. If my family ever did something like that to me I'd be beyond hurt. I can't see how you ruined their couch either. It sounds like they got a bug up their butt about you and looked for something rude to say. I truly believe that things come back on people. And another thing I believe is that it's perfectly fine to set boundaries with family. It sucks, but people can only hurt you so many times and you gotta push them away.
    I'm sending you a big ol'hug!
  • Oh, honey, I'd like to punch them in the balls. It takes a lot to get this Quaker PAcifist riled up, but when I am, watch out!!! This is so cruel!!! I cannot believe this....I am so MAD!!

    You can come sit on my furniture anytime you want. Hell, move in.
    love, Kas
  • Oh Becky, what a nasty nasty thing to do. It sounds as if these people need treatment! I have been hurt so many times by family (my older brother) that I had to put my foot down. We do not see them now or have anything to do with them. Hard when you come to our age but we could not take it anymore. Please do not blame yourself.
  • That happened to me...but I was just a kid. I was swinging on one of those crappy plastic swing sets at a friend of the family's and the seat broke right down the middle. It was already cracked and stuff but the mom (who happens to be thin as a rail) says that I am WAY too large to be sitting on it. She told me to go sit on the picnic table. Sad....Sorry T and his wife were so rude. *shaking head* just sad that they would have the nerve.
  • {{{{{{{{{{ Becky }}}}}}}}}},

    I don't know if I ever read anything that surprised and simultaneously disgusted me as much as what this entry reveals about your husband's brother and his wife. Even if you said they were on crack or in a drunken stupor it would be beyond comprehension that they could arrive at such a thought much less communicate it!

    I am sorry for those children that they have such mindless parents. I regret that you had to experience such an insensitive and ignorant situation. I am also sorry for John that his brother is such a (_______) I guess there are plenty of things that I could fill in that blank with.

    I am sorry for Ty that he and his cousins won't be able to play at they have at each others' homes. {{{{{Becky}}}}}.....they are not deserving of your time or thoughts. My ass is bigger than yours and I so wish I could go to their home, spread my cheeks on their couch (the old new one and the soon to be newer new one) and expel flatus from my rectum in hopes that it would leave them with a permanent olfactory reminder that I had visited them!

    Love {{{{{you}}}}}
  • Oh my gosh, what kind of a person does something like that?! They obviously have serious personal problems...I'm so sorry that they hurt you like that. (((((Becky))))) Maybe there's still a way for Tyler and his cousins to still see each other without you having to see THEM? Because I agree with you, I would never want to see his brother didn't do anything wrong.
  • I am just floored at the gaul your BIL had in thinking that let alone saying it. That has to be the most tackiest thing I've heard in a long time.

    Becky, tell him that if you and him were in the same room, he'd be the big ass.

    ~tara :)
  • Now I've heard of rudeness before, but this one HAS to be the ultimate. Are they just naturally rude or do they have to work at it? Or are they just stupid?

    I would be just like you. I would most definitely go to extremes to NOT be in the same county as them, much less the same building. But I have a feeling that people like this are too dense to get the message you'll be sending.

    How utterly disgusting.

    ~~ jennifer
  • {{{{{OH BECKY}}}}} LET ME AT 'UM!! I WANT A PIECE OF THEIR SKINNEY LITTLE ASSES! That is just down right rude, callous, and cruel. Where do they buy their furniture anyway? Toy stores? Even if it were true, I would NEVER EVER let another person feel responsible for something like that. If you were jumping on their sofa and went through to the floor it would be one thing ( and then it would be funny;) but sitting on a sofa for hours on end wouldn't break it...unless it was a piece of poo poo.

    I am not one for writing off family members but THIS is a deal breaker. A MAJOR apology would be required for me to EVER break bread with them again.
    I feel your pain friend!

    (I bet they were fishing for you to pay for their new furniture simply because they weren't in love with what they already had.....My money is on the fact that they didn't try to repair it or replace the exact look). If YOU EVER go over there again for whatever reason....PEE ON IT FOR ME WOULD YA?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
  • Oh Becky, that is just downright rude and completely insensitive! And I agree with everything you probably didn't do it, and what in the world is the point in bringing that to hubby's attention behind your back? I just don't know...that is horrible, I wouldn't send my child to the party either...I'm so sorry this happened....someone needs to smack them!
  • OMG, Becky, I am soooooooooooooooooooooo MAD!!!!!!! I have a friend, a dear, dear friend who is 340 pounds! He has not ruined my sofa! First of all, what kind of CHEAP sofa did they buy??? Second, why did they call??? How f***ing rude is this???? Third, I think you can't reason with people like this!!! They are like they are!! RUDE!!! I am so, so sorry! I am sending you a hug. A big hug and an apology from deep in my heart as I have been darn hefty (close to 300 pounds) at certain times in my life and I know how it feels and I know they won't apologize. I am so glad your husband stuck up for you. Please don't let it be your fault. I hope you can eventually realize that this is their problem and not yours. Hugs, Val xox
  • That is SO FRICKIN' RUDE!!!! OMG!!!! (((((((hugs)))))))))))
    Good for your husband for sticking with you.... gosh some people can be schmucks. Family or not.

    XO, Isabel
  • Screw 'em. This just pisses me off. There's no way that's your fault. If a couch isn't strong enough to stand up to one person of ANY size sitting on it, they bought shoddy furniture. Repeat, screw 'em. You're making the right decision.
  • Your in-laws are the most hateful, childish, stupid people I've run across in awhile! If their sofa was indeed damaged, they need to be dealing with the company they bought it from because sofas are supposed to hold their shape through YEARS with ALL TYPES of weights sitting on them! I wouldn't ever darken their door again and would tell them they are welcome to drop their kids off from time to time to play with Tyler but at this point in time they were no longer welcome in your home. And being who I am, I would have to write a long, detailed email explaining how I felt about all this and fill in the in-laws so they didn't hear some deluded version. I am so sorry you had to go through this!
  • I think it is impossible that you ruined anything...but, it seems, they have ruined your friendship. I would never want to see them again, either! And yes, we fat people have feelings, and they hurt all the time over people like sorry you are being treated this way. It is disgusting...I don't know where they are buying their furniture, but if they think their kitchen chairs are sturdier than a sofa, then maybe they should rethink where they are buying their crappy sofas! I think it is just their way of trying to feel superior to everyone else. In reality, they have sunk really low with this one...Please try not to feel bad...JAE
  • Well what the heck did they expect your husband to say? I think that is outrageous! It's ridiculous to blame that on you. Listen, my MIL is extremely overweight and for four years she came to our house to babysit our children once per week. Where do you think she sat? On our furniture! Do not take the blame and do not shed one more tear over those rude and arrogant and shallow people. I cannot believe that your BIL would even say something like that to his brother. I don't blame you a bit for being upset, hurt and angry. I'm so sorry your feelings have been hurt like that.
  • Becky my dear, huge great (((((hugs))))) to you, I know this will have been so hurtful to you. I'm a tall girl, and very overweight. I have broken chairs before, though only through years of sitting on them, and they've always been second hand and well worn before ever coming into our house. I seriously doubt you would have caused ANY damage by sitting on a sofa for a few hours, and I'd have thought your BIL and SIL would have something to say to the manufacturers of their new furniture about the sag, not you or John. Didn't it come with a guarantee? I think it's disgusting that they're blaming you and that they called John, and I agree that they don't deserve to have you in their home ever again. Thoughtless, cruel, judgemental...hey, I would much rather be overweight than any of those things.
    Take care my dear, more huge great (((((hugs))))) to you.
    Sara x
  • Phooey on them. My bestfriend weighed over 350 pounds and her couch did not sag. Those dummy have cheap furniture and small minds.
  • that's pathetic
    rise and fly above it !!
    don't waste time and space on them.........
  • Those people need to learn something I figured out about fifteen years ago: People are more important than things. Anyone who cares so little about another's feelings isn't worth spending time with (I know, you probably have no choice, but I sure wouldn't lose sleep over these thoughtless jerks).
  • I don't know why but, I had never looked at the 'about me' section of your journal! I always jumped right into the entries and I was hooked from the first entry I read. Now that I've read the 'about me' section, I like you even MORE! There was a lot in there that hit home for me. You are a beautiful woman and you don't deserve to be treated the way you were. There is no way you would've damaged the sofa! OK, I'm leaving now. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

  • OMG, just reading that had me outraged! Let me tell you something. I don't know how much you weigh, for all I know you could be ten pounds overweight and they call that fat. I was FAT, I weighed 300 pounds once and trust me, our sofa didn't sag or break when I sat down. We had our sofa for 10 years when we replaced it. And even then it had NOTHING to do with my weight sitting and breaking or sagging any part of the sofa. It's a TOTAL falsehood that you could make the sofa sag by sitting once for a few hours. I DON'T buy it! They are SICK and inconsiderate for even suggesting such a thing! Do they have children? Do the children jump on the sofa? That would be more realistic in my opinion. DON'T beat yourself up, don't let this eat at you. Personally, I'd NEVER EVER step foot in that house again. NEVER! Kudo's to your husband for standing up for you. I think I better stop ranting cus this won't accept my comment if I continue. Whatever, DON'T let them get you down! You are a wonderful woman no matter what you weigh.
  • Jeez! Why even broach the subject to John? Just buy the new freakin' furniture! What they did was lame and hurtful.
  • Some people are born rude and dumb and idiotic. I read your entry and went WTF? Your BIL and SIL are certifiably not worth your or your families time! I'm just furious at the idiocy of some people.

    You are a great person. I've read your journal via Bloglines for a while. There isn't a mean bone in your body. You don't deserve this kind of treatment.

    And kudos for your hubby for sticking up for you!

  • This just has me outraged.I just don't understand how people especially Family can be so rude.
    I'm sorry this happened to you. Yea! for your husband for sticking up for you. I agree with you I would never go to their house again and I mean NEVER. That's just crazy. A dent in a couch doesn't happen that quickly. It takes time for that to happen. I think those people have just lost their minds.
    Cheer up. We're behind you all the way.
    Hugs. R.C.
  • HOW RUDE!!! I just don't believe it... Have a great Sunday! Linda
  • Gee, I don't know what to say. Are these the same people who expected you to cook them a gourmet meal the day Tyler was born?

    People was be terribly selfish and consciously or unconsciously cruel. It's quite possible that they believe what they said. It's so easy to blame the fat person. As I always say, it's one of the few bigotries that are still socially acceptable.

    In my experience, a dent in furniture is something that takes place over time--months, or more likely years. If new furniture is already like that, then it's clearly not holding up well, and the sag almost certainly isn't due to something that happened over a period of a day or two or three, two months ago. It's much more likely that one of them habitually sits in the same place each day. Furthermore, a reasonable approach to a sag in a piece of new furniture is to restuff it, not replace the entire set.

    You know I'm basically a pacifist. I HATE confliect and confrontations. But if those two people were in the room with my right now, I would be yelling--rationally, with logic and compassion, but also with great anger.

  • "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Eleanor Roosevelt quotes

    Don't Consent!
  • OMG I have never in my life felt so sorry for someone in my life, nor have I ever felt so flippin' OUTRAGED by people's behavior. FROM FAMILY? Personally, I would drive my FAT ASS over to her house and bitch slap her and him! I couldn't agree with you more that I would NEVER step foot in their house again! NEVER EVER NEVER! I am so sorry! How cruel and callous, thoughtless and spiteful, and none other than blantantly RUDE!!!!!! Kudos to your hubby for sticking up for you! Want me to kick their ass? LOL


Friday, February 18, 2005


Weekend Assignment #48: When Pets Attack!

Recount an amusing tale of a pet attacking someone or something. By "amusing," I mean that a) no one was seriously injured, least of all the pet (pet humiliation is okay), b) you laughed about it at the time, or sometime shortly thereafter. You know: Funny! Okay, then.

Extra Credit: Ever seen your cat/dog walk right into a sliding glass door? Do tell.

I've mentioned this story before...ages ago in a post about my brother. But it's pretty funny, so I'll repeat it.

In 1960 my Mom saw a cute Doris Day movie called Please Don't Eat the Daisies. She fell in love with the family sheep dog and decided right then that one day, when she got married and had a family, that they would have a sheep dog. Fast forward 15 years...

After the untimely death of family dog #2, Buffy the cocker spaniel, from throat cancer; Mom decided that it was time to bring that long dreamt of sheep dog into the family.

After some research, we visited a reputable breeder and fell in love with an adorable white male ball of fluff. He was the last in his litter. For some reason, he was marked down. Something to do with him having too big a head or some other superficial factor that made him not "show quality" like his siblings. Didn't matter to us. We weren't looking for the next Westminster champ.

And dog #3, Benjamin the sheepdog, came home with us. It swiftly became apparent that we had bitten off more than we could chew as Ben also bit off more than HE could chew...on the coffee table, sofa, shoes and even the wooden shakes off the side of the house. He chewed on EVERYTHING - lamp cords...a shock from a lamp in the family room did nothing to discourage this dangerous habit.

My parents tried everything to get the dog to chill out and behave. He was impossible to train. He was the dumbest dog we'd ever had. My Dad would rain blows upon Ben's nose and head with a rolledup newspaper (I know...that's bad) and all Ben would do is sneeze and shake his head. Dense. Thick. Hopeless.

One crisp winter morning, my little brother (then about 5 or 6) was eager to go outside in the yard to frolic in the snow. My mother was still in her robe and slippers, but she got my brother all bundled up in his snow suit, parka, hat, mittens and scarf to go out to play. Ben was also outside having a ball in the snow.

I was too busy watching my Saturday morning cartoons to join in the snowy fun. My mother was wrapped up in washing the breakfast dishes. I heard a yell from the yard. I went to the sliding glass door to look outside. I saw something that immediately got me laughing hysterically. Ben was playing his favorite game...tug-o-war. Sadly, he was playing the game with the scarf that was wrapped around my brother's neck.

My brother was struggling to stay on his feet as the darn dog was pulling on the scarf and thrashing his head violently from side to side, jerking my brother about in the process. My brother was bellowing "MOM!" at the top of his lungs. He looked like a rag doll. Oh was too funny for words!

Then the dog did something unexpected. With a vise-like grip on the scarf in his jaws, Ben took off running. My brother was jerked off his feet, airborne for a second or two, landed with a thud and then he was turned into a human toboggan. The dog raced around the yard dragging my brother by his neck.

I stopped laughing. I began to wonder if my brother could breath. I went into the kitchen and casually said the following to my mother in a calm tone; "Um, Mom? Ben grabbed Mike's scarf and is dragging him around the yard." Mom's reaction; "WHAT?!?!" She ran and looked out the window, screamed, and ran out the back door, in her robe and slippers, to rescue my brother.

What happened next was a hilarious game of "keep away" between the dog and my mother. The dog was winning. She would get close to my brother and the dog's front half would be hunched down in anticipation and his back end would be wiggling from side to side with excitement. He would run away at the last moment, taking my brother with him.

The snow was up to my mother's shins, so you know she was freezing her ass off. I'm amazed she didn't loose one of her slippers. She was shrieking like a banshee at the dog. He didn't care. He was having too much fun! I don't think my brother was having much fun. Finally, the dog goofed and dropped the scarf. My mother lunged and got the free end of the scarf and pulled my brother to her. Game over.

My brother was bright red, snotty and sobbing hysterically and somehow that just made me laugh harder when they both came shivering back into the house. I thought I was going to give myself a hernia from laughing so hard. He blubbered at me; "It's nuh nuh nuh not fuh fuh fuh funny Rebecca!"

Owie my stomach! I was doubled over laughing. I was such an evil sister.

At a little over one year of age, Ben was returned to his breeder. He was the size and weight of a grizzly bear. We didn't care if we got our money back. We were just relieved that demon dog was gone from our house.

Extra Credit: While he didn't walk into the slider, Ben DID walk right through the screen door. With the slider, he would press his nose to the glass and slide his face and chin from side to side like a windshield wiper. He left thick coatings of dog drool behind. Soooo gross.

P.S. My brother was not injured in any way. His scarf was tied in a way that kept it from getting too tight around his neck. Plus he was pulled around the yard on his belly, most of the time, so the pressure was on the back of his neck/head. Regardless...the little shin-kicking booger mostly deserved it. Mostly. ;-)

Sunday, February 13, 2005


We're back!

OK, so probably 99% of those who read this journal had no idea I was gone...but then my husband was careful to remind me of the obvious before we left on vacation. John - "Don't announce that you are going away for a week in your journal...someone might take that as an invitation to clean out the house of all our valuables while we're gone." Uh, ok honey. Momma didn't raise no fool. Ha!

Forgive me if I sound a We are all sick. Well, let me start at the beginning.

John was wooed away from his old job and starts a new job on Tuesday. The decision to change companies came up rather suddenly and the decision to take a week off and go on vacation between gigs was decided upon even more suddenly. We found ourselves up REALLY late one night trying to decide where to go, find flights and book the trip. Woosh! Disney World was #2 on my short list of where I wanted to go but after some research on my #1 choice, Disney won. Who wants to swim in ice cold pool water in February? Not me!

The day after we had our trip all booked and charged to the credit card, I came down with a bad cold. I'd been doing fairly well avoiding all the germs flying around this house in the past couple months. Ugh! I had four days to ply myself with orange juice and cold medications in an attempt to get better. By the time the weekend arrived and we were headed for JFK (to fly JetBlue), I was still popping decongestants but not feeling too horrible.

Tyler did FANTASTIC on the plane. I had tons of snacks, toys and activities to keep him busy and JetBlue has TV screens and DirectTV FREE at every seat. Ty was able to watch Boomerang (the classic cartoon channel) and Nick the whole way down. Wonderful! Arrival in Orlando was uneventful and we got to Disney's Beach Club Resort right about dinner time.

We boarded the boat and motored across the lake to eat dinner at Spoodles on "The Boardwalk". We were staying at one of Disney's Epcot property resorts and I was told there were some good places to eat around the lake. Dinner was tasty,but after a long travel day, Tyler was starting to melt down a bit. He barely touched his dinner and kept telling us he wanted to go home. *sigh* Back in the room (which was decorated with a very cute old-fashioned beach theme) Tyler passed out less than five minutes after his head hit the pillow.

Around midnight, I woke up to the sounds of pained moaning. Uh oh. Tyler was burning up with fever! John sprang into action and morphed into Super Dad. He flew at the speed of light to the front desk, found a pharmacy nearby that was open 24 hours and the location of the nearest emergency care clinic (if needed). He raced out into the night and returned with a thermometer and various medications to attack Tyler's fever. 103.2 under Tyler's arm...which translates to close to 105. Talk about scary!

Super Dad had come back with Tyler's favorite grape flavored chewable Motrin...but Ty wasn't able to chew/swallow easily. So Super Dad smushed up the pills and dissolved them in a small amount of water. Mission accomplished!

By morning Tyler was cooler, but still measuring 101+ under his arm. We stayed in the room all day and fed him juice, water and more Motrin. By day 2, his fever was holding at about 100 and he was itching to get out of the room.

We finally decided to take him to the little beach that was right behind our hotel so he could sit and dig in the sun. Ty was very unhappy with how bright the sun was (he seemed very light sensitive) so we moved to a shady spot on the sandy volleyball court to do a little sand castle construction.

We weren't outside for long, but it was enough to make Tyler happy. I felt so badly for him! We had so many plans, but not much you can do with a sick toddler. The next day his temp was hovering right around 99 and we decided to risk a visit to the Magic Kingdom.

Tyler had a ball at TomorrowLand and told us he wanted to live on the new Buzz Lightyear ride. Literally. Live IN the ride. Ha! What a kid. We rode that and the transit train twice. We had the best burgers right in TomorrowLand (I think the place is called Starlighters) and Ty nibbled at his chicken nuggets and apple sauce. He still wasn't eating much. We made sure he drank plenty of water and juice.

After a ride on Goofy's Barn Stormer rollercoaster and play in the tot lot, we could see that was going to be it for the day. Ty was fading fast.

The next day Ty was feeling even better so we crammed in some time at Stormalong Bay (a cool network of sandy bottom kid pools and a lazy river ride (sit in an inflatable and let the current carry you around a lovely landscaped "river") located at our resort. Then we spent the evening at Magic Kingdom catching some of the rides we hadn't gotten to the day before.

Ty loved the Winnie the Pooh ride and Peter Pan. I was VERY bummed that the Dumbo ride and It's A Small World were closed for renovation. Many age appropriate rides were closed. John was making obscure movie references by calling the park "Wally World". 10 Points if you can tell me where that came from. *wink*

After the 7pm fireworks (very nice show!) Ty was ready to go back to the room again. John was complaining about a sore throat and I was feeling heavy chested and bone weary.

By the next morning, both John and I were sick. I was coughing up a lung and he was stuffed up and still nursing a sore throat. Tyler's temp had crept up a bit, but it wasn't too high and he was starting to get sniffly too. My coughing fits had kept me up all night, so the two boys ventured out to Epcot and left me in bed in the room. They weren't gone very long. Tyler had started to fall asleep on the Mission Space ride.

We slept in on Friday and spent the afternoon at Animal Kingdom. Tyler loved the safari ride in the open jeep. He also enjoyed brushing the animals at the petting area. We made our weary way back, Tyler passed out in bed without any dinner and we ate some more room service. Saturday was our travel day to come home.

All in all, we had a nice time, but it would have been SO much better without all the illness. We missed doing a LOT. Ah well. We can go back to Disney next year.

So...we are home. We are sick. We are tired. We have a funeral to attend. Sadly, we lost John's Grandmother this week. She was 99 and living in a nursing home. Her quality of life was very low. She was wheel chair bound, nearly deaf and nearly blind. Not much to do all day when you can't see or hear well. She had a very positive attitude, however, and never complained. She often told us she would be ready to go whenever God decided to take her. No regrets. We're happy she was finally able to join her husband on the other side. She has been looking forward to seeing him again.

It's late. I have no clue what I will wear tomorrow. Usually fat women have no short supply of black clothing. So what's my story? I need to do laundry! I need sleep! I was without my computer for a whole week! I don't want to go to bed. *sigh*


* John and I are still sick. I'm just coughing and coughing and coughing. It's been worse in the least I am getting SOME sleep. Tyler seems fine.

* Why does my Aunt Flo always pick the worst possible times to visit? My wedding day? Come on! At least it didn't show up while we were on vacation. But Aunt Flo and my coughing fits are making my life interesting. I need to buy more undies. Sorry to be so frank.

* Anyone else besides me notice that all the recent horror films seem to start with The? The Ring. The Village. The Curse. The Grudge. Hmm. What does that The add to the mix. Maybe they should make a movie called The THE. Ooo. Spooky.

* Anyone watch Wife Swap? The episode last night was GOOD. Funeral Director's wife swaps with wife of a guy who "dropped out". He sold the family home, quit his job and moved them into a converted BUS to live. Took their two kids out of school and has been home-schooling them on the road for 2 years. Funeral Director's Wife was horrified at how they were living. Why am I mentioning this? Well, apparently Tyler was paying attention to the show last night. John was working in NYC today and all day Tyler kept telling me he missed his Daddy. So, like always, I asked if he wanted Daddy to quit working and stay home with us all the time. Usually Tyler's answer is an enthusiastic YES. This time Tyler's response was a vehement NO. His reason? "I don't want Daddy to stop working. We'll have to live in a BUS! There's no room in there for my blankies. They wouldn't like it there." Ha! What a kid.

* "Look Mommy! I have 'noculars!" I looked up from my dinner and Tyler is looking at me through a pair of binoculars from across the room. I had a mental flash of Ty in his teen years using those spy glasses to peep at the teen girls next door. Can he just stay 3 forever?

Saturday, February 05, 2005


Sometime in early 1992, my mother cut an ad out of one of her beauty magazines and gave it to me. It was soliciting photo submittals for the Miss Teen pageant. There weren't many details on what it was all about...but my mother was keen on sending in my photo. My mother was always trying to push me into things like this.

My stint at the Barbizon School of Modeling had just finished and my mother was still gung ho to get my face out there. She argued and cajoled that I was a "pretty girl" and that I should be doing something to take advantage of my appearance. Especially since I'd lost all that weight and I was feeling pretty good about myself - relatively speaking. Really, I'd only lost the weight to get my parents off my back.

Very reluctantly, I told my mother it would be OK to send in my photo. It was one of the shots from my portfolio (see! In this one I am actually smiling!) I never expected to be selected as a contestant. Imaging my surprise when I got the welcome packet in the mail.

An even bigger surprise; the entry fee. Holy Toledo, I couldn't believe how much they were asking us to pay. They had included all the tools I would need to go and solicit support from local businesses (selling advertising space in the pageant program guide thingy - see photo) . They had to be joking. They expected ME to go and ask strangers to give me money and send me to a stupid pageant??? I told my mother NO. NO WAY IN HELL. NO NO NO NO...

About a week later I was asking my Dentist if he would lend his support (and money) to my cause. I got a bunch of negatives, but enough positives to cover the tab. I still can't believe those businesses were willing to part with money to send ME to a dumb pageant. Yes, my mother was pushy as hell. Oh my God...I was going to a pageant!

Another problem...I had to have a talent. My mother said "Oh that's easy. You will play your violin." Um, mom? I haven't played my violin in two years. "Well...we will find you a tutor." And she did. A nice Asian fellow. We picked a piece of music and he set about teaching me to play it.(They took a nice photo of me in my talent "outfit" at the pageant, but I can't find here is a different one of me with my instrument.)

To his surprise, I had never learned to read music. I always used to fudge it and mostly played by ear. Eeek! He really had his work cut out for him. When he realized the deadline to learn the piece was SOON, he cut some corners. No matter. He got the job done. I played a medley of music from Fiddler on the Roof. It sounded pretty damn good, too!

So there I was. I had my violin, two outfits and my evening gown in hand. We stayed at a very nice Marriott in Springfield. I remember the lobby seemed like a sea of pretty teenage girl faces. They all seemed WAY prettier than me, too. Uh oh. Panic began to set in. What the HELL was I doing there?

We had photos taken, went to rehearse our big group opening number "Back In The USA", and did a run through with wardrobe changes and had the initial staging of the talent portion. I was getting more and more nervous as each hour passed.

The time arrived. The grand ballroom was packed with chairs in front of the stage and podium. Several of the girls goofed up during the opening number. We really needed more practice than we got. When the time came for me to play my violin selection, I had a huge lump in my throat and I was feeling faint. I could barely croak into the microphone the name of my piece. I took a deep breath and began to play.

I started off rather slow and hesitant, but no bad notes. Suddenly my violin let out a horrible squeak. What the hell was that?! I had my fingers in the right position... Oh no. I had a glob of rosin suck on the bow strings. Every time that area of the bow hit the strings, the violin would let out a loud squeaky squeal. I wanted to stop playing and run...but I somehow managed to finish playing. There was a weak applause as I made my way back to my seat. My face was burning.

I tried to take deep breaths and enjoy watching the rest of the girls do their presentations. I had a feeling I already knew who was going to win. I was right. Lori Veto had this amazing dance routine. It was a real crowd pleaser. She walked away with the crown. I wasn't even a runner-up. No Miss Congeniality for me.

Oh well. At least I had done it. I'm still not ready to thank my mother for the experience. I'm still trying to figure out if it was a positive or negative experience for me.

Do you want to know what we were all competing for? A $650 cash scholarship, an "Official" Miss TEEN Crown, Trophy and Banner, personalized "Queen" stationary, an 11x14 color portrait, and a Miss Teen ensemble. I think the total prize package value was less than half the cost of entering the contest. At least the winner got to go to the National Finals in Albuquerque, NM to compete for a $25,000 scholarship, a $2,000 personal appearance contract, a $2,000 wardrobe, and a trip to Hawaii. least I came home with my official logo tee-shirt and a certificate of achievement. Hmm. I wonder where my shirt is...

Wednesday, February 02, 2005


You'd better duck!










GOTCHA! The boy has deadly accurate aim, I must say.