Monday, May 19, 2014

Free Will or Predestination? A soul, redirected...

Lofty question in this post title...yep. Most of the time I think there is no rhyme or reason to our existence. It's just a series of random events that we control with the decisions we make each day. Until it isn't.

A few months ago, John ran across a old friend of a former girlfriend on a topical FaceBook page. One random comment and a conversation was started leading to this old girlfriend sending along a friend request. I'm not a jealous type. Well, not seriously jealous. Just somewhat insecure. I wasn't all that worried that John was friending his old high school fling on FaceBook. Really! I wasn't!

She sounds like a nice lady - mother, wife, friendly and a fun connection to John's youth. How odd that they found each other after all these years. Hmm!

Fast forward to this past weekend. J had a much older brother (17 years older!) who passed away a few years ago. J took the loss hard and decided to travel out of state to go visit her brother's widow and reconnect. She met some extended family including a grand-niece just 20 years old and already with 3 kids under the age of 2. We don't know the details, but we suspect there is an ugly story behind the conception and birth of her oldest child (a little boy, just 18 months old). Long story shorter, this young mother just never bonded with her boy. It happens, sadly.  The child had his basic needs met, but it was obvious that this girl didn't give a hoot about this sweet little boy. She did dote on her younger two, thankfully.

J felt an instant bond with this needy little boy, her great-grand-nephew. He clung to her like she was his port in a storm. She shared his tragic story with John who instantly thought J should suggest putting the baby up for adoption. It was obvious the mother wanted nothing to do with her boy child, so why not give him a chance at a happy life with another loving family? John counselled her on various forms of adoption and made suggestions on things J could do to help this little boy.

All that remained was broaching the delicate conversation with the mother.  Thankfully, she saw the wisdom in this option. (Why it had never occurred to her before is a mystery to us...adoption often doesn't occur to people whose lives were never directly touched by it in the past.)

Things progressed very swiftly and J was given temporary custody of the little boy and will bring him back to NJ for placement. The mother has already signed her rights away and a lawyer was contacted who has 4 portfolios in hand for J and her husband to look over and make the choice.  With luck, this sweet baby could have a new forever home in a matter of weeks!

We pray J and her husband choose the perfect new family for this baby boy. It's obvious that they found him just in time...before the complete lack of affection from his mom broke him forever. He is still young enough to bond with loving parents and have no memory of his rocky start in life.

We often find ourselves advocating for adoption with others who touch our lives. I have so many great stories, some that I have told here in my journal in years past. We love to help! Please pray, send positive vibes, or whatever voodoo you do do to ensure this baby finds his way home!

UPDATE:  The birth mom has asked for more help on behalf of a friend of hers who is currently pregnant and now interested in placing her baby for adoption. J was happy to help this new girl too. Then potential birth mom #2 told ANOTHER friend who is pregnant and she is interested too. That is 3 babies that may be on their way to loving homes from one seed planted. I am thrilled beyond words!

UPDATE 2:  The baby has been placed with his forever family - a lovely couple in their 30s. He is their first child and they are over-the-moon happy. Good luck, little guy!

1 comment:

Donna said...

I believe in a mix of predestination and free will... with emphasis on free will. I do believe there is an Unseen Hand that often brings the right people together, sometimes even people who aren't that big on religion. I've seen it happen to many times to doubt it.