Reflections on... That Time of the Month

Many moons ago, my mother managed to convince me that getting my period was a beautiful thing. A sacred rite of passage into womanhood. She had the experience so hyped up, that I was actually looking forward to that magical moment.

Feh. Yeah, that false sense of euphoria lasted about a day into my first cycle. It was like finding out there was no Santa. I felt so betrayed and ill prepared to deal with the mess, cramping, mood swings, etc. And why on EARTH she got me the starter kit from Kotex with the old school belt contraption, I'll never know.

It was college before a kind room mate introduced me to tampons and convinced me that "No, using a tampon did NOT rob you of your virginity," as my mother so often told me. Of course, virginity was no longer an issue for me by the time I hit college. (Shh! Don't tell my Mom!) But I didn't want my roomie thinking I was some kind of Slutty McSlut or something. Ya know.

Do any of the ladies out there remember the shame of having to carry feminine products in your purse at school? You had to be like Maxwell Smart...or, er, 99 and be in stealth mode lest one of the other girls see that pretty pink or aqua plastic packet and reveal your shame to the planet. "Becky's on the rag!" I remember trying to slyly slip the contraband from my purse into my pocket so that I could leave my purse behind at my desk.

It was like a neon sign if you had to take your purse to the girl's room! Naturally, you had to leave it behind lest everyone KNOW there was a reason you HAD to bring it with you. The shame of it still burns on my face. Ack, the horrors of junior high. I'm so glad the girls in my high school were more mature about these things. I still remained in stealth mode, just in case. As far as anyone else knew, I only had my period once the entire 4 years of high school.

That was the day I forgot to put supplies in my purse and Aunt Flo caught me by surprise in the middle of the school day. Lord knows how long I walked around with the blood stain showing on the back of my uniform skirt before some kindly girl took pity on me. Then I had to borrow the *gasp* spare skirt from the vice principal. It was three sizes too big and plaid. Plaid! That was the OLD uniform. They had changed to this awful teal polyester the year I started.

Have I ever mentioned before how much I loathed standing out in a crowd? It's hard to blend into the background when you are the only gray and maroon plaid skirt in a sea of teal. In some ways I am relieved that we don't have a baby girl. This is one less thing I need to prepare her for.


Cynthia said…
There's nothing quite like that horror at school is there. Managing two hormonal cycles in our house does have its challenges.
Donna. W said…
This brings back unpleasant memories. Except I was happy to start my period because I was 16, and the only girl in my class who hadn't started!
Laura said…
cynthia: LOL. two cycles in one household?...
easy-peasy. come on over to my house where estrogen rules.
i dunno becky, this whole teaching a little boy how to pee and care for his manhood has been a little daunting for me. i'll take the period issues. at least us girls get a night on the town when another joins our club here under the big top.
Suddenly I'm glad I went to an all girl's school through eitgth grade. Then, at co-ed boarding school, it was easier, because we could return to our rooms for supplies.

I actulaly hated my period much later, when it got heavier and heavier and heavier-nobody warned me that that happened to some women approaching menopause, if they have fibroids.

I really like it now that I am truly "menopaused" :-)

Anonymous said…
Ah, menstruation memories! I was so jealous of the girls in my high school classes because they were menstruating and growing boobs. I was flat. I looked like a teenage boy in my high school graduation pics. I was a college freshman when it finally arrived.
I miss my is strange not to have one after so long...and I always hoped that I would be pregnant every month...but I am glad that there is no pain and no swelling and no cramping...and three women on the rag would be impossible...Tabby and Mandy ahave theirs at the same time now and I want to move out every time!
amy said…
LOL. I remember the old tampon up the sleeve maneuver... And once in college, I was pulling some books out of my bag and a pad flew out, and drifted to the floor in horrifying slow motion...Time stood still...not good.
Mysti said…
I just came across your blogspot as I was surfing through (It's really the sheer boredom having my fiancee sitting at the computer across from me, totally engulfed in his game that has me searching for new sites to occupy my time. ~grumble grumble~)

Jumping back to the topic at hand... I absolutely hated my period from day one and I hate it even more now! I remember my first period and being the family that we were, my mom's entire family was at our house visiting and why, on God's green earth there wasn't anything I could use, I don't know. I had to sneek into my mom's room and told her that I had started, so instead of being nice and quiet about it with everyone there, she boldly announced to EVERYONE that we were going to the store for feminine products. GRRRRRR! Nothing at school compared to the EMBARRASSMENT my mother subjected me to with the "passing into womanhood." Why can't we all be without that darn time of the month until we decide we want kids?

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