Monday, July 28, 2014

What am I?

Being a mother to two amazing boys through adoption sometimes presents some unique challenges. We are lucky to have an open adoption for my older son with frequent contact with biological family. My younger son, however, is another story. His adoption is considered open because his birth/first mother knows who/where we are and vice versa, but that is where the similarity stops between my two boys. Sadly, we don't have any real ongoing contact with Max's biological family. One day we hope that will change.

Lately, Max has been very curious about his origins and we, frankly, don't have a lot of answers to give him. The genealogical data provided by his bio-mom on the forms she filled out in the hospital is sketchy, at best. Max wants specifics! Like me, Max has a gift for mimicry. He likes to take on various regional accents and pretend he is from that area/country. He is especially good at Scottish and Jamaican accents, with German following closely behind. It's very funny!  We had a joking conversation that he could be Scottish, German and Jamaican in decent. It's not completely beyond the realm of possibility.

No, it's really not that important to know our exact ancestry (we are American, first and foremost.) I say "our" because I was adopted as an infant too and didn't have many details about my background until I met my biological mom when I was in my thirties. Even she didn't have a complete picture because she didn't know my bio-dad's side of the family that well; so I turned to genetic profiling through Ancestry.com. The results of their DNA test were fascinating! Now, Max really wants the same information. He isn't even 8 years old yet, but he has a powerful need to know about himself.

I remember studying people's faces when I was a child and wondering if I could be related to them. Who knew? I could have walked past a biological relative on the street and had no idea! All my friends looked like their parents and siblings. Sometimes strangers would comment, "Oh! You look just like your Mother!" and sometimes that comment would make me happy, but more often I would be irritated. (No I don't. Not a bit.) Amusingly, I studied my bio-mom's face when she first sent me photos (we found each other via the internet) and I sort of saw a family resemblance from photos of both of us when we were teens, but now? I don't think we look at all alike. I found that sort of disappointing. Ha! Maybe I look more like my bio-dad's side. Who knows.

The point is, Max wants to know. He wants details! We talked about him taking the same DNA test that I did through Ancestry.com and he is eager to try it. It's not cheap, so I may make this a Christmas present. We'll see. I'm just as curious as he is to see the results!

1 comment:

BosieLadie said...

It is so awesome that Max is so interested in finding his roots. I think we all are, but for those of us that have adoption and/or divorce as road blocks, it makes it a little of a struggle. Max will know in time, all he needs and wants to know, I'm sure.