Morning thoughts...

Rough night last night. Up multiple times for various reasons. I think I am up for the day now. 8 AM on a Sunday is a bit early for my taste, but I figured I could come to my desk and maybe do a long overdue bit of writing.

*comes back 15 minutes later*

I guess not. Youngest son needed some nudging to get to church school on time. Found him fast asleep on the sofa. Then, as he got ready, he suddenly needed to add Instagram to his little iPod. Do I know his ID and password? Nope. He set that one up all on his own. Good luck with that one, son.

OK, where was I? Ah. Morning thoughts... I rolled around in bed for an hour this morning trying to get back to sleep, but my brain decided to power up. I found myself wondering about certain friends on FaceBook that I hadn't seen post anything for a while. Then I got worried. It's on my To Do list to go looking for them and check in today.  Then I moved on to contemplating the growling in my stomach. Yep. Hungry. Am I going to eat something? Nope. Not hungry enough for that, yet.  That got my brain thinking about my food addiction and how I might fare if I replace it with a different addiction.

Gambling? Nah. Spending all our worldly funds doesn't seem prudent. We need to buy food. *dammit* Um. Oh! I could take up drinking.

Now if you are an alcoholic in recovery, or currently struggling, or suffered at the hands of someone who drank too much, this post isn't directed at you. I'm about to get inappropriate.

From what I've seen in the movies and on TV, you can get drunk pretty cheaply, so, I wouldn't be breaking the bank. No froo froo fancy drinks with umbrellas, tho. Too much sugar. I do love those little umbrellas. [note to self: look on Amazon for little umbrellas]  Oh! I think we have an unopened bottle of wine in the house!

*goes to look*

Yep! Still in a Christmas gift bag on the floor here in my office.  Been there for, oh, maybe 14 years? A gift from one of the husband's coworkers. It's moved around a lot over the years. Somewhere around year 5, I read that wine should be stored on its side so the cork doesn't dry out. If the cork dries out, the wine evaporates and/or turns into vinegar. Or something. What do I know, I am not a drinker. But I turned the gift bag on its side back then, just in case. It might already have been too late.

So now I have a bottle of wine. Its drink-ability is questionable. Wait, do I even own a corkscrew? I vaguely remember having a yellow plastic bottle opener that had a hidden corkscrew... OK. If I'm going to become a serious alcoholic, I'll need a good corkscrew. [note to self: look on Amazon for a kick ass wine bottle opener]

OK. Since my ability to open this wine is in question, I may need to move to plan B. A trip to a liquor store. Do I even know where one is? *pauses for thought* Yes! I think I remember seeing one in the same plaza as our supermarket. I wonder if our market has any of those nice cheese platters today... Dang it! No. No food! Think booze.

Liquor store. Boy, I'm going to feel like a real fish out of water in there. This could be potentially hilarious, if the store has the right employee with a good sense of humor. This has hidden camera potential.  My GoPro head mount might be a little too obvious. I need to locate the chest mount! It's been missing since Max used it to film his antics at the trampoline place.

Me to liquor store worker: "Hi! I wonder if you can help me. I'm thinking about becoming an alcoholic. Do you have some kind of starter pack? Or recommendations?"

*wait for reaction*

Oh yeah. Potential comic gold.  I think I should film me trying to get this wine bottle open too. That taste test could also be gold.

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