Him: Did you know every window in your van is open (including the skylight) and probably has been for days?
Him: I'm serious. Max says he saw them all open at once a few days ago and insists he told me, but I don't remember that. How do you open all the windows and skylight at once anyway??
Me: 😲😨😩😱 *finally capable of speech* How much water is in there? Is everything soaked?!?!
Him: The cup holders and side wells in the door are full, but the seats are dry. Max sat in all of them. The rugs feel dry to the touch too.
Me: 😯😖😕 How is that even possible? The skylight was OPEN. With how hard it's been raining for the last week, how is the car not half full of water?!
Me to Max: So how much wildlife and/or insects do you think have made a home in Mommy's van now? How does it smell in there?
Max: Oh millions, I expect. And it smells pretty dank.
Me: Dank like how you usually mean (awesome) or dank like the real meaning.
Max: The real one. Dank like a wet forest. Green is healthy.
Me: 😒😧 Mold isn't! and the spiders... 😨🤬😵
Anyone have any advice for a car that's been underwater? Turns out if you hold down the unlock button, all the windows in my van open. Every...single...one...😣 Someone (not me) has been pocket messing with my wheels. *points finger at husband and his tight pants*