Thursday, January 07, 2016

Gender Fluid

Happy New Year! Had an interesting discussion with my youngest boy.

Max ripped a giant hole in his favorite performance wear pants today at gym. I told him he had to wear the new royal blue pair Santa brought or I could get him another in black because there was no way he was going to wear leggings with giants holes in them. I had to go through the whole speech my mother used to give us about not letting her children leave the house looking like hobos. He countered with "but all my friends wear jeans and stuff with holes in it. On PURPOSE. It's fashion, Mom!"  *le sigh* But he did eventually agree to a new pair in black.  On Amazon, I see they are having a winter coat/jacket sale too. "Max, do you need a new winter coat?"

Max: Yeah. I want to get a pink one.

Me: Um...what? Did you say pink?

Max: Yeah. Pink. You got a problem with that?!

Me: No, no. I just wanted to be sure I heard you correctly. Are you sure you want a pink coat?

Max: Is there something wrong with a boy wearing pink, Mom? Are you being sexist? Colors are for everyone. I can wear pink if I want to.

Me: Oh I agree! I'm happy to get you a pink coat, if that's what you really want. I just worry that other kids might give you a hard time about it. I think you should be able to wear any color you like. But there are still too many people stuck in the mindset that "pink is for girls."

Max: I want to be a pretty pretty princess. And I don't care what other people think. I want a new shirt too. One that sparkles. Boys should be allowed to wear pink AND sparkles.

Me [now pretty sure he is messing with me, but he seems dead serious]:  OK. Let's see what Amazon has...

We find a pretty coat in a pinky-purple shade and he says YES! Add that one to the cart! I'm wavering. It has faux fur around the hood. Then I spot a cool looking Under Armour hoodie in pink and black. "Oooh! Look Max. Pink and it's Under Armour too!"  That gets him off on a tangent and he finally settles on a hoodie with matching pants in lovely shade of aqua. I'm thinking we've dodged a bullet, but no.

Max: OK. Now go back to the page with that coat. I still want to be a pretty pretty princess. I can totally pull it off, Mom. Why are girls clothes so much cooler than boys? Most boy stuff is ugly. Oooh! What's that! *points to the screen*

Me: Uh. It's a lace shrug.

Max: See? Do they have stuff like that for boys? No.

Me: Well... I might be able to find you a cute bolero jacket or something...

Max: OK! I want one of those. With sparkles. Mom? Am I gender fluid? I want to show everyone...I want to...everyone can wear what ever they want. It's ok.

I nod and smile. I get it. He wants to break the mold. Be outside the fashion box. Trendsetter, if you will. He might not have all the buzz words down (and don't ask me where he got the term "gender fluid" from...I suspect that's from his big brother who is constantly accusing him of being and acting "gay". I know that's a teen boy thing and it's how all his friends talk. But I still get disappointed when I hear it. I just wish other parents would discourage that nonsense the way we do. "That's so gay!" is like the worst insult in the world to them. They, almost all those boys, are so homophobic at this age. Their hormones are out of control and they are just figuring things out, but GAY is not the worst thing in the world. *grumbles*

Anywho, Max finally cracked a grin and told me he was messing me on the whole pretty pretty princess thing. He didn't really want the pink coat. But he'd totally wear it if I got it for him. Just because. And he'd be proud about it too.

Now I have to find him jeans with holes and something sparkly to wear. He WAS serious about that part. *grin*

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