Thursday, September 03, 2015

I need a little wine with my whine...

It's a shame I don't drink. Today I could really use a box of wine (or 2.) It was the first day of school and both boys left the house unhappy and both came home miserable. It's especially worrisome from the teen boy. He hasn't passed judgement on his new 8th grade teacher...yet, but he is VERY unhappy with the classroom move. Apparently the school took away their spacious former home-ec room and stuck his special needs class in a closet (or office). 10 kids, some with sensory issues, crammed in a little room all day. He was ready to kill himself by the time he got home.

No, really. He talks about how much the world sucks, life sucks, our country sucks and nothing is redeemable...certainly not within his lifetime. So why is he alive? He's completely miserable.

Now I remember being completely miserable in 8th grade too. I often thought I'd be better off dead. Heck, the world would be a nicer place without me in it. Hearing the same talk from my newly minted 8th grader is sad and scary. Kids today are a lot more likely to take their own lives than they were when I was this age. The internet is oh so helpful in oh so many horrible ways.

Yes, he has a therapist (in school and out) and a psychiatrist. Yes, we try to be encouraging and supportive every day. We go out of our way to make sure home is his sanctuary and safe place. It's not perfect because he'd rather not have a little brother and he finds the idea of parents rather annoying too...except when he's hungry. We provide food. That's our only redeeming quality.

Food was a source of comfort to me too when I was in jr. high. I wasn't fat, really, just a little over weight. But some of my classmates made sure I felt like a blimp and my parents weren't much better. Tyler put on some weight in 6th and 7th grade, but we are never negative toward him. He decided he wanted to make a change over the summer so we made a couple of suggestions. He cut down on his soda consumption and the quantity of junk food. He ate more egg whites and cheerios. He feels a bit more comfortable now that he's dropped some weight. He's back into a pant size he wore in 6th grade. It was odd going from a men's medium back to a boy's 16-18 when shopping for back-to-school clothes. His eating habits still aren't great, but he is more conscious of the quantity. He looks good. But he's still miserable.

"Have his doctor put him on an anti-depressant!"  Yeah. I thought of that. He reminded me today that a former "medication happy" doctor put him on one of those and it made things worse. He is now very anti-anti-depressant. Maybe his new doctor can encourage him to try it again...but he has to be very careful. If he comes off as another "pills will fix everything" type, teen boy won't go back to see him ever again. As it is, the boy barely sees the use of seeing a therapist. "They don't do a damn thing, Mom! It's just a waste of money."

I'm at a loss. He needs a hobby. Something that gets him out of the house now and then. Or friends with a fun hobby would be even better. Or a big brother. Something. OK, internet, if you have any bright or wise suggestions, I am totally open to them.

That last paragraph/cry for help is funny because no one even bothers to comment on my little blog anymore. But I'll put this out there, just in case. You never know where help will come from.

1 comment:

Donna said...

I don't have a clue. Even my pretty-much-average kids worried me to death and at times drove me crazy back when they were teens. I can't imagine what you must be going through.