I've never been very good at "parent politics". I'm awkward under the best of circumstances so when put into an already awkward situation, I just freeze up.
Max has a birthday coming up and in past years I always insisted that we invite everyone in his class and Max was happy with that. Last year he had a couple issues with certain kids, but he's so easy going he didn't mind if they came to his party. This year, he put the hammer down. He has a strict "be kind" policy and if you act like a "jerk" to him or any of his other classmates, then no party invite. He was adamant.
I said, "Isn't leaving certain kids out sorta unkind too?" He said, "Why would I want to reward them for being a joik?" (Yes, he pronounces the word "jerk" like a 1930s gangster. No idea where that accent came from. lol) *sigh* So today I watched Max ambush his friends after school to give them party invites (passing them out in class isn't allowed.) One kid who was at his party last year but wasn't invited this year kind stood by and watched as others got invites but he didn't. I winced at the expression on his face.
As Max climbed into the van, I had to double check with him...was he SURE he didn't want to invite so-and-so? Nope. No dice. Apparently just that day this kid had grabbed another child's hand and slammed it into the back of Max's head during gym. Not cool. No invite for you. *double sigh*
John is quite friendly with this kid's mom. I know that not being invited to the party will probably get back to her (if she didn't already notice the awkward moment at pickup today...since she was there.) What would YOU do in this situation? I feel like we should say something to her so she knows why her kid is being excluded. But how do you nicely tell someone their kid is being kinda jerky this year to his classmates without sounding like "My kid can't stand your kid anymore. What can ya do?" See? Awkward.