Tuesday, October 15, 2013

A Mommy Moment

Max and I took some extra time after school today to go play on the playground. I stood with my mom friends and chatted while our boys had a ball playing on the climbers and slides. It makes me happy to watch Max cheerfully interacting with his friends.

Then I started thinking about our recent struggles with Tyler. I found myself thinking back to when Tyler was this age. I'd bring him to the playground to spend time with kids too. But unlike Max, who can charm his way into any group, Tyler often had/has problems relating to other kids.  Instead of giggles and fun, I'd observe this:

Waiting to be noticed.

Playing on his own NEAR kids.
I found myself welling up with tears. I had sunglasses on, so I don't think my friends noticed. I wanted to tell them how much I appreciate their friendship and how great their kids are, but then I would have totally lost it. Max treasures his friends. So do I. It's a small miracle that I witness every single day that most parents probably take for granted.

Say a little prayer for us as we wrangle with ongoing issues at school. They want to take our beloved square-peg eldest boy and ram him into one of their perfectly organized round holes. We know it's not going to work but we have to show them that they can deal with all kinds of pegs, with a little effort and flexibility. It's not about shaving off his corners and making him fit! It's about tossing out the stiff old mold and replacing it with something soft and pliable (like play doh) so that pegs of all shapes will work. Flexibility, people!

3 comments:

Tressa Bailey said...

My boys started out like that....to tell you the truth I kind of forced socialization on them...not the nicest method but it worked better than any other. My oldest is only known as autistic by those who have lived with him. In fact his room mate is one of the friends he made through my forced socialization. I used to literally drag my youngest out to bowling, little league, skateboarding and cubscouts...he's not quite as advanced as his older brother...but still has plenty of friends who make the effort to involve him and drag him out of the private world he slips into so often. Keep the faith...do whatever works for you and just keep on loving them for who they are....it'll all work out.

Donna said...

As a square peg in a round hole, I can relate to Tyler's problems. Bless his heart. I still only have close friends on Facebook. I just learned to not care. Thank goodness I met Cliff, or I probably would never have had a close relationship with anybody in real life.

Linda Hill (Sean's "Nana") said...

Becky, As a retired teacher, I've seen the struggles of numerous parents over my nearly 30 years' career. I always told them they are their child's best advocate. Sometimes just a little flexibility is needed. I once had a 4th grade boy who had ADD & was one of the most hyperactive children I'd ever had. He was also very smart. The CST thought he'd be better served in a spec. ed. class. I thought he'd thrive in my class if he could stand at his desk, rather than sit, & walk around when he needed to. It didn't solve all of his problems but he had a very successful year overall. God bless you & Tyler! Keep on keepin' on!