Trying to be healthy is HARD. 8+ weeks ago I started on a journey to change my life. I eliminated all sugars and most starches from my diet. No more baked goods. No more candy or soda. No more potatoes or white rice. Whole grains, in small doses, and loads of veggies and lean protein to keep me from being hungry. Nuts are my new best friend...as is beef jerky! No more chips, fries, breaded chicken, pasta...oh boy has it been HARD!
New temptations crop up every day. TV commercials for restaurants I used to love are my worst enemy. They are closely followed by my own family. Yes, my junk-food loving boys are driving me batty. I woke yesterday morning to a fresh box of Dunkin' Donuts sitting on the kitchen table. I would have been ok, if the box didn't have a clear cellophane lid to show off the pretty pretty frosted goodies inside. Owie! My stomach just let out a long squealing gurgle with actual PAIN. Ugh. I've wanted a donut for weeks now.
I dream about ice cream too.
Now we have Halloween on the horizon. Used to be my favorite holiday of the year. An excuse to consume pounds of chocolate and sugary goodies? Hell yeah! Sign me up! This year I sent the husband out to pick up bags of treats. I told him NO CHOCOLATE! Get things I won't be tempted to eat. At all. He did pretty well, until I saw the bags of sour patch kids. Oh noooo... I love those mouth puckering treats! *sigh*
So I find myself eyeing the stash on top of the fridge. Even gummy crabby patties sound good (any Sponge Bob fans out there?) I smell donuts. *drools*
Then, last night, John made pasta for dinner. We used to eat pasta several times a week. It's cheap and fast. Max won't eat it, so I'd make him a hot dog, turkey sandwich or fish sticks. We ate it so often that I didn't look forward to pasta nights anymore. I was so sick of pasta! Then I went without it for nearly 5 weeks and thought I would die if I didn't get some pasta! Luckily there is one brand that is "legal" on my eating plan. Dreamfield's low carb pastas. I made a batch of elbows and stole a packet of cheese sauce from a family size box of mac n cheese sitting in the pantry. It was heaven! And I ate way too much. Between the high fiber content and forgetting to take my Lactaid, I was in serious pain. But it was worth it!
Late last night I caved again. I made Dreamfield's rotini and used low fat Velveeta this time. I even cut up a couple low fat hot dogs into the mix (Sheldon style.) It wasn't a donut or candy, but it filled that hole of deprivation I was feeling. I still can't believe I was up at 2am making mac n cheese like an addict falling off the wagon. Once again, I am paying for it today. Ouch. But it was so so good. Almost worth it. And this time I didn't eat the whole box. Progress!
I still want a donut, but I told myself no sugary treats until I see 100 lbs gone. Maybe by then I won't care about sweets any more. Maybe I will have that "nothing tastes as good as thin feels" attitude! Hey, I can hope.