Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Long Lost Relatives

There was some family drama way back in the late 1980s. In a nutshell, my parents didn't approve of my choices (schools/majors, the man I fell in love with, how much independence a 19 year old should have...) and they made life as difficult as possible. So I left home and moved in with my poor, sweet boyfriend who had never had any of these issues with his loving and supportive family. Ahem. Yeah. So my parents spent the next several months calling and leaving nasty messages on his answering machine.  After all the drama, he still married me. Can you believe it? I am still in awe of his capacity to forgive.

Well, during these months of turmoil, my Dad's Mother passed away. I didn't even know she was sick. Did they ever mention this fact on any of the daily answering machine rants? No. So I never got to see her in the hospital and missed her funeral. Yes, it was vindictive and mean. But that wasn't the worst of the fallout. Because of the drama, I lost contact with all family from my Dad's side. I didn't know my Uncle or Aunt's addresses and my parents refused to forward wedding invitations to them. So my cousins missed my wedding too. I saw them briefly after I mended fences with my parents (also briefly) and went with my Dad to help clean out my Grandma's house. But they were cold, distant, and angry with me. As were my aunts and uncle.

No one wanted to hear my side of the story. God only knows what my parents told them, at the time. They all hated me. I've told the story of that day in a previous post. So, fast forward a whole bunch of years...

I noticed on my brother's facebook page that he had friended my cousin Sharon. Wow! I wanted to send her a friend request immediately. Then I remembered... she might still be angry with me. So I sent her a note. I want to send a friend request to her sister Beth too, but same deal. So I am waiting to see what kind of response I get. Is 20+ years long enough for tempers to cool and people to forgive a mistaken impression? We shall see. I had great times with those girls when I was a kid. They are fond childhood memories. I'd like to get to know them and their families again. Wish me luck!

1 comment:

barbara said...

good luck. It took 24 yrs for my sister to get over what ever kept her from talking to the family. But it did happen, I hope you get to reconnect with your family too.