"MOM! Please turn off the radio! I hate music. It hurts my ears."
As the boys continued to act up noisily in the back seat I turned the radio up LOUDER.
"Come on Mom! This stuff is horrible!"
I cringed. He was insulting Tears For Fears. Classic 80s. So I began to sing along. As the commercial break came on, I said, "Ty, maybe if you listened to the words or thought about the instruments that make the music, you might understand better why music is cool and another way to express your feelings."
Tyler made a disgusted noise. "They sing too fast. Who can understand what they are singing anyway..."
So I began to sing the lyrics to the next song to Tyler, clearly so he could understand what I was singing. "Once I ran to you. Now I'll run from you..." Oh yeah. Tainted Love! Max laughed.
"Ahhh! Mom! Stop! This is horrible!"
"OK Ty. I guess I'll never be on American Idol, huh." It's not the first time he's complained about my singing.
"Nope. It's too expensive, right?"
"What?? No no. They pay all the expenses for the people on the show. It's free for them to be on it." That too expensive comment left me a little bewildered.
"Oh! So you COULD be on it if you wanted to? It's not too expensive?"
"Well, no. I'd have to try out. You know, pass an audition in front of judges...maybe in New York City..." I decided to ignore the fact that I am way too old, just for the sake of this discussion.
"Oh. Well that's easy then. You could do that. I love New York."
"Ty, are you telling me you think I could be on American Idol?? You're joking, right?"
"No Mom. I'm serious. I think you'd be great on that show. But I still hate singing."
Hmm. Tyler thinks I could be on American Idol but he wouldn't watch the show, because he hates singing. Over all, this conversation left me feeling good. Confused, but good.
After a long pause, I suddenly burst out; "And the next American Idol is...Mommy!" [insert enthusiastic crowd noise sound effect]
Max said, "Yay Mommy!!!"