Random Thoughts...

I haven't posted in a bit and feel the need to type something. I'm just not sure what I want to say. I have some things I want to write down, so I don't forget; so I guess I'll start there. Feel free to skip this entry. It's mostly for me.

- I want to remember how it feels to have Max lay his sweet head down on my chest and fall asleep. He's growing like a weed and may soon be past the point where I can call him a "baby". He generates a lot of heat when he sleeps. I don't recall Tyler ever feeling so warm.

- Tyler never liked to cuddle much either. He was always on the move and wanted to be put down. Max is content to just stay in your arms for long stretches. He will study my face, try to blow raspberries on my cheeks or neck, hang on to my ponytail if I get up to walk around, or just sit on my knee and check out the room.

- I find myself singing way more to Max than I did with Tyler. Max loves it when I sing. Tyler hated it. So there's the reason why. What is even better - Max sings back to me! Sure, he doesn't know that many words yet, but he makes up cute little tunes that go something like this: "Ma ma ma ma MA MA. Da da da da da DA DA. Mmm Mmm. All gone." It so freakin cute I can hardly stand it! Hopefully I can get a recording of him doing it. Or a movie.

- Max will hold his own bottle. Our Ped told us, with Tyler, not to encourage it because it's actually easier to wean if the child doesn't have any sense of "ownership". Since I'm the one always holding the bottle, it's mine - supposedly that's the theory - and this makes it easier when I take it away. Tyler never WANTED to hold his own bottle. He'd cry if I tried to wrap his hands around it. I had no trouble weaning him to sippy cups when he was a year old. But Max... He likes to help. He gets hungry and doesn't want to wait for me to finish changing his diaper before he drinks. He wants that baba NOW! LOL! So, I let him hold it until I'm done with the diaper. Then he is more than happy to let go and relax against me to drink. I just tickles me to see him holding it himself. Just another one of those little things I want to remember.

- Max will follow Tyler around like a devoted puppy. He wants to watch everything his big brother does and then try it himself. This is a problem for Tyler. Apparently Max has been trying to play with the computer while Tyler is playing a game and it causes poor Ty to mess up. Ty has been getting very angry and frustrated with Max and it really bothers me to hear him say things like: "He is so annoying! I hate little brothers! Max, get lost! Make him go away!" and so on. I've been trying to explain to Tyler how Max is in awe. Max looks at Tyler with an expression of rapt devotion; it's almost painfully sweet to see. I just want to cry. The age difference between Max and Tyler is the same as my brother and I. I resented my baby brother's arrival, was mean to him for most of his childhood, and we never really formed a bond. To this day, we aren't close at all. I regret that. I don't know what to do to prevent that from happening to my boys.

- I hate having workmen in my house. I love the idea of having the added space, but I want the work to be DONE. They don't come upstairs unless they have a question (they don't even use our bathroom)...which is good. But I know they are down there. It's a pain having to get fully dressed each day (I often hang out in my night shirt if I have no plans to go anywhere - but not lately). Just knowing they will be showing up in the morning any time between 7:30am and 9am just puts me on edge. If I wake in the middle of the night, there is a sense of urgency to get back to sleep. "Oh man, the noise is gonna start soon. Gotta hurry and fall back to sleep!" Stressing over trying to get the baby to nap. So much noise down there. Ack! I'm edgy and cranky and tired and stressed. Don't like it. Not one bit.

- I'd love to get one of those nifty flat screen TVs (HD would be cool) for downstairs. I also found this cool split recliner loveseat thingy from LaZBoy that would be perfect for watching movies ala home-theater style. I also found an armoire style desk for me. I just hope I can sweet talk John into outfitting the playroom the way I see it in my head. It will get more use if we do it right. Otherwise it will just become a dumping ground for all the boys' crap and not a usable space at all.

I guess that's enough thinking for tonight. If you read all that, here's a cookie.


Emily Suess said…
Mmm. Chocolate chip. My favorite. :)
Astaryth said…
Thanks for the cookie.... ;p
Donna. W said…
Hey, I enjoyed that! Yeah, I hadn't had a chocolate chip cookie in a long, long time.
Anonymous said…
You will have sweet memories reading this in the years to come.
Thanks form the cookie, my favorite kind, no calories!
Anonymous said…
AWWWW there is nothing sweeter than a baby sleeping in your arms. I am glad you are writing these things down you will treasure them in the future. My baby will be 26 this yr and the memories of him sleeping in my arms are so precious. A few months ago I had his son sleeping in my arms it was great.
I hope the basement will be done soon and you can have some peaceful/quiet days soon.
I am glad that I found your journal I have read it for sometime. Hope your day is good.
Barbara (beckerb6@aol.com)
Laura said…
mmmm, yummy!
i love the way you describe holding, feeding and singing with max.
my 1t 2 are 5 years apart as are the last 2 and lately i have been enjoying the sweet reward of seeing the 1st 2 as best friends. of course i playfully tease them reminding them of how the the 1st one despised her little sis and the 2nd one worshipped her big sis. it is delicious to savor the closeness they have developed on their own in their own time.
hope the work gets done soon.
Anonymous said…
No better feeling than a sleeping baby in your arms.
I love your ideas..it is going to look so good!
Anonymous said…
Hey Becky...
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. My middle and youngest hated each other. Now all three of mine are best friends.
The basement is going to be awesome. Can't wait to see it finished:)
Thanks for the cookie!
Chris said…
Little brothers will always idolize big brothers. I am so glad that Brett tolerates Trevor for the most part. Even though he is an adult now at 18, he still lets Trev tag a long most of the time!

Glad to see you're doing great! Enjoy your weekend!
Unhinged said…
I DID read all of this last week, but never got my cookie, so went away miffed.

(Not really. But the cookie never did show up.)

I was here. I read.
Jo Beaufoix said…
I still love it when Miss M aged two drops off in my arms. It doesn't happen much and I don't hold her at bed time, but sometimes we'll be reading and she'll just nod off.

It's so lovely.
I hope I never forget how it feels.

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