Roasted Peppers Make Me Hawt!

I've come to the conclusion that I am a total sensualist. I am all about the feeling of silk, satin and chiffon against my skin. I love a hot bath in a jetted tub with loads of bubbles and scented oils. Swimming in the nude. Running my hands over fur (preferable on a LIVE animal) makes me all quivery. But the worst part about my hedonistic tendencies? The near orgasmic pleasure I derive from eating.

Today is a good example. I ordered plain pizza and a chef salad delivered from a local Italian deli. I expected the salad to be of ordinary ilk...a few cold cuts and cheese on a big bed of greens. But no! Instead they sent this masterpiece filled with fancy rolls of ham and american, cones of salami and provolone, chunks of fresh mozzarella and strings of juicy red roasted peppers, strips of tasty turkey and loads of red onion, cucumber slices, tomatoes... I forgot all about the pizza and dug into that salad with relish; using my fingers. Anyone else out there enjoy eating salad with their fingers? I had the dressing on the side and had fun picking up certain tidbits and dipping them delicately into my Thousand Island dressing.

Oh my gosh... the roasted peppers and mozzarella made me moan with pleasure! So so tasty!

And people wonder why diets don't work for me. Would YOU be able to diet if eating a salad gave you as much pleasure as a weekend alone at a five star resort with someone you lusted after? Free massage included?

Gah. I'll never be thin.

(Special message to my mother. Don't give me an ice cream maker from William-Sonoma for my anniversary and expect me to lose weight too. That's like bringing crack wrapped in a bow to someone in rehab. Seriously.)


Robbie said…
I could kill you! I am now craving a friggen salad and all I have is iceburg lettuce and a jar of red peppers and I don't want to go to the grocery store. Frickafrackafrucka. Damn you!
Cynthia said…
I adore roasted red peppers, especally with mozzarella, and I'll eat a a salad like that with my fingers as well. About the ice cream maker, my first thought was that my mother would have done the same thing.
Donna. W said…
Cliff and I make a meal out of a salad at least once a week. A little left-over chicken, a little grated cheese... oh yeah. It's been a big part of our weight-loss routine.
Sara said…
Totally getting what you mean Becky!! Mmm though, pizza, wondering if fetching pizza could be added to my list of things Gary's helping me with today!!
Sara x
Anonymous said…
arent you a little old to be saying "hawt"?
IndigoSunMoon said…
Oh My Gosh...That salad sounds like pure sin! Yummo!!!
Damn. Now I want salad, and I have absolutely nothing to make one with.
Anonymous said…
That salad was described so well, I want one now, especially if it makes me Hawt! LOL
I want a salad like that, too. Unfair! Margo
PS Did your mother really give you a ice cream maker? Unreal.

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