There are two "John" stories that came back to mind in the past couple days. My husband is a complex and funny man.

Not long after we had settled into our new home, I decided the time had come to order myself some new sneakers. I picked out some pretty white cross trainers with teal trim and waited patiently for the post office to deliver them.

John called me at the office to say he had come home for lunch and saw a package hanging on mailbox but didn't have time to grab it. No problem, I thought. I'll just snag it when I get home.

When I got home, there was no package there. I didn't think much of it. I thought perhaps John had been home again or took it with him after all. I was soon to find out this wasn't the case.

John confirmed that he hadn't taken the package when he got home. Where did it go? Someone must have taken it. But why? And who?

John morphed into Spy vs. Spy mode and rigged up a camera aimed at the mailbox. He made a decoy package and hung it enticingly on our mailbox to recreate the scene from the prior day. And he waited...

He watched from behind the drapes as kids walked up our street on their way home from school. He watched as three teenaged boys approached our property. They were ripping up some big wads of cotton batting and throwing the refuse around the street (who knows where they got the cotton from).

They paused in front of our house and one of the boys looked around. He casually lifted the package off our mailbox and they all continued walking.


John called our local police department to file a report. A nice officer came to the house, interviewed John and was excited to hear about the surveillance video. He took it. They were able to identify two of the teens from the video (they had been in trouble with the law in the past).

Last we heard, the kid got probation, had to pay a fine...and I got my sneakers back. They had been worn. Eeewww! I donated them to the Salvation Army.


Story #2 has to do with John's home improvement skills. Really, he has none. But I give him credit for trying.

We had been talking for some time about what colors I wanted to paint the various rooms in the house. We got as far as Home Depot, purchased all the various paints and painting supplies, and brought them home. There they sat, down in the basement...for months.

John had NO idea how to paint. He had never done it before. He was waiting for me to run the show. Unfortunately, at that time I was traveling a ton with my job and wasn't home for weeks at a time.

One fine week, John's workload was light, I was out of town...so he decided to surprise me. He thought painting the hall bathroom by himself wouldn't be a big deal. It was the smallest of the rooms we planned to do.

He was so excited to show me his handiwork when I got home. He hid my eyes and led me into the bathroom...I opened them and was really pleased with the color. Orchid! Perfect...wait a minute. I turned around and closed the bathroom door. It felt like I was inside an orchid purple cave. He had painted the ceiling, walls, trim...even the back of the DOOR was orchid.


"Do you like it?!"

Um. Yes. I love this color.

I didn't fool him for a moment. He could see the distress on my face.

"What did I do wrong?"

Hun...when have you ever seen the wall color in a room repeated on the ceiling, all the trim AND the door?

"Oh. What color is it supposed to be?"

White. Likeit was. I only wanted the walls to be orchid.

Ha! Well...at least he tried. He ran out and bought white paint for the trim and fixed his paint job that weekend. I told him to leave the back of the door as is after I saw his re-paint work on the trim.

The trim used to have these lovely grooves...amazing how a 'John' applied coat of paint can make a carved wood surface look smooth. I feared what our 6 panel door would look like after a repaint.

I love you, babe, despite your many flaws. [Very big wink!]



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