Monday, June 13, 2016

Looking back... again.

I turned 50 this year and it seems to have made me even more introspective than usual. Things have been hectic for the last month or so as we run up to the end of school. Lots of projects and getting ready for Tyler to graduate from 8th grade. Next year - high school! It's such a weird thought. My son is headed to high school. Most of the time I feel like my high school days weren't all that long ago.

I had a thought this morning that sent my mind racing back into the past. I was a rather shy and introverted child. I was happy as a clam just sitting alone and reading a book in my bedroom at home. If I didn't have a few extroverted friends, I might never have left the house. Thankfully, there were a few people along the way that would drag me out into the sunlight from time to time.  My elementary school friends, Sarah, Laura and Jane. I love you guys. I wish we'd never lost touch.  I want to thank my friend Pam for being the first friend who pushed me toward boys and forced me to flirt. Without Pam and, later, Chris - I might NEVER have had a boyfriend. After high school, there was my work friends - Sue, Harry, Kerry, and Sarah. I always seemed to have great luck when I had a friend named Sarah. And Kerry...he was a little person.  That was not, however, the first thing you'd notice about him. He had a BIG personality. So big, you didn't even realize he was quite a bit shorter than everyone else. He made me feel beautiful in a wildly inappropriate way. What a charmer! But it was risky dancing with him. Sadly, as is far too common with big personalities in tiny packages, he had serious health problems and passed after complications from a heart transplant. I miss him too.

I also think being inside my own head so much of the time is what made it so hard for me to relate to my brother. He is 5 years younger than me, so the age difference was already difficult, but he was also rather extroverted and high energy. I am a very low energy kind of person.  He didn't get me, I didn't get him and we never really bonded very well, sadly. It's a shame. As I get to know him, now, later in life, he seems like a really fun person.

I don't have any of that anymore, sadly. No extroverted friends. No one to drag me out of the house and get me into trouble now and then. I miss it.

Wednesday, June 01, 2016

Memorial Day?

My best friend died. Yes, it was many years ago, but I still think about her. Her birthday was May 30th and just a couple days after turning 22, she was gone. John found some stuff in a box today with her name on it. He was looking for something else for me, but she found a way to make herself known. She was like that. Just wanted to make sure she was never far from your thoughts. *grin* (Hi Kath. I haven't forgotten you.)  Just out of curiosity, I plugged her name into Google (she would have LOVED Google) and it spit back a website that had her address, family member names and estimated her age at 47. Sadly, no. She is forever 22.  Google had a street view of her house, tho. That was pretty nifty.

Last time I saw that house it was painted dark red, had black shutters, and was nearly unseen from the road. Her parents valued privacy and they lived on a VERY busy road, so they had an ancient rock wall that ran along the road and behind that was towering overgrowth and trees hiding their house and yard from view. It doesn't look anything like that now! Somewhere along the line, the town removed that ancient stone wall and put in a sidewalk. That would have come in handy years ago when I was riding my bike to Kathleen's house and, because of all the traffic, nearly getting killed every time. New owners cut down all the plantings, trees, and shrubs; painted the house white, put on a new roof, and now it's all open and grassy. I don't like it.

After studying the street view and the satellite view (so I could see that big back yard again...the tree house is gone too) I virtually toured the town. We spent quite a few years living in Bedford when I was growing up. That was where we stopped roaming for a while. Dad retired from the military and, after moving every couple of years, it was weird just staying put. I cruised through the back roads and found my old house on Google Street View too. My house used to be this gross mustard shade. Now it's painted white. There are TONS more trees and the house is nearly hidden by them from above. I like it.

I found the pond where I took swimming lessons. Springs Brook Park looks more like a pool from above. They've altered it, for sure. You can see the bottom and there is probably less risk from snapping turtles. I'm not sure if I like it.

Anyway, enough nostalgia for tonight. I was going to put screen shots of the places I mentioned in here but depression is sapping my energy even more than usual. That'll do.